Another Day in Paradise
by horrorphile
Summary: A Caryl story set in the old west. Why not? Daryl and Merle are living on a ranch in Oklahoma in 1888. Daryl is in love with Carol Everdene and hopes to marry her. Merle loses their ranch and they leave Oklahoma and start over in New Mexico. Eventually Daryl finds Carol again but is it too late to start over.?
1. Chapter 1

Back in the Day

Somewhere in Oklahoma, 1888

Daryl Dixon took a swipe at his dusty forehead with an equally dusty hand. He settled his wide brimmed hat on his messy dirty blond hair and gazed out at the Dixon ranch. He and his brother Merle were on their way back from delivering cattle to a railroad market. This was their first roundup as ranch owners and they had money in their pockets. Money that would pay off most of their loan on the ranch. Money that would see them through the winter. Money that he could use to buy a ring and armed with that ring and a ranch house Daryl Dixon was going to the dance tonight. Carol Everdene would surely be there and Daryl was going to ask her if she would consider making him the happiest man in all of Oklahoma, the United States, and the Planet Earth. In short, this boy barely out of his teens was going to ask Carol to be his wife.

He had no assurance that she would agree. They had never "courted". He had never accompanied to any social event. In fact, her agreeing to such a scheme would seem somewhat delusional, but Daryl was a boy-man in love and he hoped that by actually speaking to her about marriage would be planting a seed in Miss Everdene's heart. She would not be able to unhear it. She might reject at first hand but she would be flattered by his proposal. He knew her well enough to know that she was too kind hearted to be callous in her rejection. Daryl was planning on a long slow struggle to win her love and her hand in marriage.

"Get your ass moving, there is cold beer and loose women in my plans for this evening." Merle Dixon spurred his horse to pick up the pace.

Daryl rolled his eyes but urged his own horse go faster. He would settle for warm lemonade and looking into Carol Everdene's bright blue eyes. Merle would be hitting the local saloons and spending money to have his way with the local whores. Merle always demanded instant gratification. What he wanted? He wanted it now. Daryl was different. He would delay gratification if what he wanted was important to him. He had been in love with Carol Everdene since he met her that first day of school.

Merle had taken him away from his father when he was twelve. They had boarded a train in Georgia and got off it in Oklahoma. Merle had talked himself into a job at a ranch and the kind owners had agreed to let them both stay at the bunkhouse. They had insisted that Daryl go to school. So at twelve he was sent to school.

He did know how to read and write. His mother had taught him before she he in a house fire. Merle had taught him how to could money and he could add and subtract. The school house had two classrooms for grades 1-8. The teachers wanted to place him in the fourth grade where the smaller children were. Merle had already left and Daryl wanted to bolt out the door. A dark-haired girl with bright blue eyes sidled up to the teachers and said politely, "I'll help him. He won't get behind."

Carol Everdene kept her word. They sat side by side in those wooden desks for four more years. He studied his lessons with diligence because he never wanted to get bumped out of his place beside Carol.

He left school at fourteen to go to work as a ranch hand. Carol's aunt and uncle had taken her as their daughter after her parents had been killed in a tornado when she was an infant. They loved her enough to let her go live with an aunt in a larger town thirty miles away. There she could go to high school. Later, she could attend a women's college in that town.

She spent her summers here though and she was still enough of a tomboy to go on rides with Daryl occasionally. She attended church regularly and Daryl made sure not to miss when she was at home. Her aunt took ill during Carol's last year of high school and after graduation Carol decided to stay there to nurse her aunt. Her aunt's illness dragged on for two years and Carol had stayed at her side. Finally, the aunt passed away and Carol was back. She had confided in Daryl that she was hoping to start college in the fall.

Daryl had been busy for those six years as well. He and Merle continued to work as ranch hands but they also kept their eye out for a ranch of their own. Last fall they could buy a ranch that had been let go so long that the price was low enough for them to afford. They worked day and night to fix the place up and now they had money in their pockets and hope in their hearts.t

The two brothers were soon home heating water for their baths. They scraped the trail grime off and shaved their faces. Daryl had a clean pair of jeans, a blue shirt and pair of new cowboy boots that he had bought in the railroad town. Merle was drinking whiskey and yelling for Daryl to hurry up. The dance was in town and so were the saloons so they would ride in together.

They let the trail horses rest and took fresh horses to town. Merle had insisted that Daryl drink a glass of whiskey with him. They clicked their glasses together and toasted to "Double D Ranch." Their brand was two D's entwined with one another. Daryl would remember that ride for the rest of his life. They were so damn happy, whooping and hollering when they met people on the road. Life was on the upturn for the Dixons.

They had supper at a restaurant in town and then parted their ways. Daryl didn't expect Merle to back it back to the ranch tonight but he intended on going home after the dance. He got there early and spent some time talking with other ranchers and hands about their cattle drives. Beef prices were up and the mood was optimistic.

He waited outside until Carol arrived with her aunt. Her uncle had died a year ago, and the aunt looked frail to Daryl. The dance was being held at a building that had begun its life as a barn. It had been renovated to be a place for large groups to meet. The musicians were warming up and the square dancing would begin.

Daryl got a glimpse of curly dark hair off to the side. Carol was laughing at something George Fisher was telling her and Daryl narrowed his eyes and wished all matter of ill on George even though the other man was engaged to be married to one of Carol's friends.

The music began and Carol danced with another young man. Daryl hated him too. He sulked for a while but Carol had smiled at him as she danced past and gradually he got his nerve up to ask her to dance. Merle had taught him how to dance so he was always a little leery of doing something wrong. But Carol was standing there all flushed from the dancing and she was wearing a blue dress that matched her eyes.

Daryl smiled at her, "Miss Everdene, would you like to dance with me?"

She smiled at him, "I would like to dance with you, Mr. Dixon."

They whirled around the room and it was all magic to Daryl. He wasn't sure his feet were even touching the floor. Carol was a popular girl and she danced with other men but Daryl noticed that she danced with him every other dance.

Other girls asked him to dance and when Carol was out on the dance floor with another man he danced with them. These other girls were very friendly and dimly Daryl realized that they were flirting with them. One girl even told him that he looked very handsome tonight. He hoped that was true. He needed all the help he could get to win Carol.

Later after he and Carol had finished a particularly vigorous dance he invited her to step outside and get some fresh air. She hesitated only a little as it was well known that only courting couples went outside. Carol took his arm and they walked out of that building together like they did that sort of thing every day.

It was cooler outside and they walked along the street letting the always present wind fan their faces. He found an empty bench and they sat down. Daryl looked around. No one was close to them and this might be his last chance to talk to Carol before she went off to college.

He shifted in his seat. "We've just come back from taking our cattle to market for a good price. I can provide for a wife and family and the truth of it is that I love you and always will."

Carol seemed a little stunned that their conversation had shifted from talking about the weather to his declarations of eternal love. Her face softened as she looked at him. "You are just starting out. You don't need the burden of a penniless wife and a passel of children to rear. You should concentrate on your ranch."

She wasn't dismissive. She never out right said that she didn't love him. Only that it was the wrong time for him to marry. Daryl was too honest a man to overlook the truth in what she had said. "I am just starting out and it would be a great help to me to marry a woman with money."

Daryl was unprepared for Carol hissing at him, "So why are you wasting your time with me? I have no money of my own."

Daryl was taken aback, "I only agreed with you to be agreeable. I do love you, Carol Ann Everdene and I want to marry you."

She settled down then. He had taken her hand and she did not pull away. "Daryl, I want to go to college. I've worked toward that goal for years. I do care for you but I've spent the last few years taking care of my aunt. I'm not ready to settle down and have baby after baby."

Daryl felt his heart plummet. Carol did not want to marry him. She wanted college and all that that implies. She wanted to live in a fine house with a rich husband and have two children who and were raised by nannies. Carol probably still thought of him as that white trash boy he had been and never could quite leave behind. He stood up abruptly, "I won't take any more of your time. You have made your wishes clear."

Carol stood up and faced him, "Daryl, you aren't listening to me. This isn't the right time for either of us." He did not speak until they were back to the barn door. "I will trouble you no more."

He rode home in the moonlight in tears and drank too much of Merle's whiskey. The next morning Merle came home looking like death warmed over. Daryl was out in the paddock fixing a weak spot on the fence and doing a terrible job of it. Merle put his horse into the barn and then came out to stand beside "I am so damn sorry."

For a moment, Daryl thought that Merle was sorry because Carol hadn't accepted his proposal. Then he realized that there was no way that Merle could know that, "What have you done?"

Merle's confession burst out of him. "I went to a saloon. Drank way too much. Got into a poker game. Big stakes and I was winning. Couldn't lose. Down to me and James Sawyers."

Daryl's heart sunk at hearing that Merle was playing with James Sawyers. That man had a reputation for lending money to farmers and ranchers and then demanding immediate payment forcing families off their property.

Merle went on, "I had a straight flush. Couldn't lose so when he upped the stakes I went with him. I bet it all, Daryl. Money and the ranch on the table. I couldn't lose."

Daryl had played enough poker at the bunkhouse to know that Merle should have won with that hand but his white-faced brother didn't look like a winner. "What happened?"

"James Sawyer put down a royal flush. Only hand that could have beaten me. He is today to get our deed. Time we pay off the mortgage there won't be much left."

Daryl reeled away from his brother. Everything they had both slaved for years lost in one night. The Double D Ranch was gone. His only coherent thought was that it was a good thing Carol wasn't married to him. "We're ruined but at least Carol is safe from our downfall."

"Let's go the bank. We're clearing our debts and leaving town. No one in this town can ever say that we cheated anyone." Daryl wanted to be remembered as an honest man.


	2. Chapter 2

Starting Over

Daryl and Merle spent that day dismantling their lives. They paid off the mortgage on the farm and then handed the deed to James Sawyer. They sold off their remaining stock and left town before night fell. West seemed the best direction to go because it would all be new to them.

They drifted for months but found a town they both liked in northern New Mexico. Winter was setting in and it seemed like a place to start over. How could you go wrong when the name of the town was Paradise?

Paradise was the county seat of Paraíso County located northern New Mexico and watered by the snowfall from high mountains. Most of the area consisted of rolling pastures and fields. It was warm enough in the summer and not too cold in winter. There was snow in the winter but not so much as to be a serious problem. Paraíso County might not be heaven on earth but most of its citizens considered it to be damn close.

Paradise was isolated from the rest of the world but freight trains traveled through there frequently. A passenger traveling west stopped there every morning on the way to Santé Fe and another passenger train traveling east stopped before heading for Denver.

Paradise's population was surprisingly diverse. About half of the population was white, a fourth was Mexican, and a fourth was African-American. Most of the porters on American trains were black and many of them had moved their families to Paradise. The town had a reputation for dealing fairly with all its citizens. There was a white section of town, a Mexican section, and another one for its black citizens. Each section had its own schools and churches but businesses were mostly located in one area of town. Most black businesses were on the opposite side of the street from white businesses but the Mexicans put their businesses on both sides.

Daryl and Merle found jobs working at a ranch not far out of town. Their new employer was a Mr. Shepherd, an aging bachelor who treated his workers well. Daryl settled in and worked himself up to ranch foreman in five years. Jack Shepherd treated Daryl like a son that he never had and Daryl loved and respected him as the father he wished he had had.

Merle was restless at the ranch. He left after the first winter and spent seven years prospecting in New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado. He would drift back from time to time and spend time at the ranch. He never asked for money and would work at the ranch for a few months and then would be off again in search of the mother lode.

Then five years ago, Merle had come back to stay. He had found enough gold to buy Daryl a ranch and himself a store in town. Daryl's ranch bordered the Shepherd place and he hired a few extra hands and ran both places.

Merle hired a man and his wife to run his store and he spent his time as he wished. He seemed to stay busy doing very little of anything. He traveled to Santé Fe and Denver occasionally to buy books. He and Eugene Porter were partners in all sorts of schemes. One year it was hot water heaters fueled by wood and now they had teamed up with some Asian kid to make electricity by building dam on the Paradise River.

Daryl was reasonably happy here. Merle spent a good deal of his time at the ranch and Daryl rode into Paradise a couple of times a week to eat lunch or dinner with Merle. They always got excellent service with smiling waitresses almost too good to them.

Merle had told him years ago that he had met a friend from their old Oklahoma town when he stopped in an Arizona town during his prospecting years. Merle had asked about mutual acquaintances and his friend had left the town less than a year after they had left. The friend did know that Carol Everdene was already married when he left. Daryl knew that Merle had told him the story so that he would move on with his life.

Daryl knew he was considered a good "catch". He was reasonably good looking and owned his own ranch. He wasn't a drunk or a whoremonger. He wasn't opposed to marriage and he liked kids. Daryl would try to talk himself into the wanting to be married from time to time but invariably he would think of Carol in her blue dress that night. No other woman could compare with her. Daryl was past thinking of her all the time now. He would go for weeks at a time without a thought of a slender woman with blue eyes and dark curly hair. Then something would trigger a memory and he would feel a sharp pang of loss. He could never move on because he still loved Carol.

Jack Shepherd had died last winter and Daryl mourned him as much as any son who loses his father. Jack's will was handled by a lawyer in town and to Daryl's surprise he found that the ranch was left to a distant cousin. Daryl continued to operate both ranches but he realized that his dream of uniting both ranches was over. In the end, Jack had chosen a stranger to inherit and not him. It was what Jack wanted and Daryl was determined to do right by the new owner if he was kept on. He owed Jack that.

The lawyer had sent him a message that the relative was coming to Paradise to live. He wanted Daryl to pick Mrs. Peletier and her daughter up at the station and take them to the ranch house. Daryl had the money to buy the Shepherd Ranch at a fair price.

Daryl informed Carmela and Rosita Espinosa that the new owner would be here tomorrow. He knew that they would have everything ready for Mrs. Peletier. He was prepared to show her all the books. Jack hadn't bothered to do much bookkeeping the last few years. It was a good ranch with plenty of water and pasture. There was money in the band that she would inherit too. She was a very lucky woman to inherit money and property from a distant cousin she had never met.

He ate breakfast with Merle the next morning and then moved the buggy to the train station. Merle had some business to attend to at the station and he then disappeared inside leaving Daryl to greet Mrs. Peletier. Daryl waited alone on the platform and heard the distant whistle of the train coming down the track.

The train chugged in and stopped at the station. He could see people getting off the train to stretch their legs and breathe fresh air. The crew were bustling around to take on water and other supplies. Daryl saw a grouchy looking woman with an equally grouchy looking younger woman and he groaned. That was probably Mrs. Peletier and her daughter. The new owners of Shepherd Ranch. They passed him by to go into the station. Dodged a bullet there.

There was a timid looking little girl waiting at the bottom of the steps. She was looking up into the train and Daryl followed her gaze to see a thin drab woman standing at the top of the steps carrying a suitcase and a somewhat smaller valise. He couldn't see her face but his first thought was that she needed help with her luggage and he headed toward them. Daryl smiled at the little girl, "Excuse me, miss. I need to help your mother." He looked up at the woman and saw that it was Carol Everdene.

She looked as shocked as he felt. "Daryl?"

He looked at the little girl and her mother and he asked, "Are you Mrs. Peletier?"

She nodded and Daryl took the suitcase from her. "Welcome to Paradise. I'm the foreman of Shepherd Ranch." He tried not to stare at her closely shorn head. Why would she cut her hair?

She followed him down the steps and the three of them moved toward the wagon. "Do you have any more luggage?"

Carol shook her head and she looked so worn. So different from the laughing happy girl that he had known. She introduced him to her daughter Sophia.

He helped Sophia and Carol into the wagon. The morning was cool and he brought out a blanket out, "We could eat here in town or at the ranch house."

Carol shook her head, "Let's just go on to the house. Is it far?"

He assured her that the ranch was close, "We'll be there before you know it."

Daryl saw Merle standing at a station window watching them. Daryl gave him a wave and they headed toward town. He pointed toward the elementary school, "Sophia, you can start school there whenever you're ready."

He noticed that Carol and Sophia were using the blanket. He was used to chilly spring mornings and he was dressed for it. Their clothes were shabby and not heavy enough. He was silent on the way to the ranch. He couldn't quite believe that Carol and her daughter were close enough to touch.

The ranch house was set up on a little rise. A large house made of logs and stone. Jack Shepherd had built this house to last and to accommodate a large family. Sadly his wife died young and they had no children. He had never married again.

Daryl stopped to show Carol some of her new property. "The bunkhouse is to the left. Your new home is there", and he waved in the direction of the log house.

"Where do you live?"

Daryl had been living in the main house for years. Jack Shepherd had encouraged him to think of the place as his home and overtime Daryl had grown to love it. Jack liked to add modern conveniences to the place. There were three bathrooms in this place with hot water in all of them. There were fireplaces but a furnace in the basement kept the place warm in the winter. Large windows brought in plenty of light. It was a wonderful place to live. The kind of place that Carol should live in. She and her daughter would be warm and safe here.

"I can stay at the bunkhouse." He had lived here for years but it might be considered improper for him to live in the same house as Carol.

Carmella and Rosita met them at the front door. Daryl went on to the barn to see to the team. He could have had someone else to do it but he needed a few minutes without being in Carol's presence to figure out how to deal with being in Carol's presence.

Daryl finally decided that he would have to take this Carol as the real one. That other Carol that he had loved for so long didn't exist anymore. Her long curly hair was gone. He had seen strands of gray in the dark locks too. If she was Mrs. Peletier then somewhere there might be a Mr. Peletier. The man who had fathered a child with Carol. A man who she was intimate in ways that made him want to kick the barn cat.

There was no way he could live in this house with Carol and her husband. He would quit this job and move to the other ranch. Maybe her husband was dead. That happy thought reminded him that he needed to go see how things were going in the main house.

The house was warm and everyone was in the kitchen where Carmella was making lunch and talking nonstop in her usual mixture of English and Spanish. Carol and Sophia were looking a little stunned. Carmella could have that effect on those not used to her.

Daryl went to the coffee pot. He wanted something to warm him up and he poured two cups. One black and one with cream and sugar. He kept the black for himself and handed the other to Carol. The Earth may have made twelve revolutions around the sun since he had seen her but Carol had always loved coffee.

Daryl turned to Sophia, "Would you like to have some hot cocoa? Rosita makes the best cocoa in New Mexico."

Sophia gave him a weak smile and nodded. Rosita laughed, "My cocoa is the best in New Mexico and with Sophia's help it maybe the best in the world." She held out her hand and Sophia took it. Rosita led Sophia to the sink, "I have a secret recipe and I'll share it with you but you must never tell anyone."

Sophia nodded solemnly and Carol smiled at her. It was the same smile she had given Daryl when he took her hand at the dance floor. A loving smile. Daryl knew then that Carol might have cut her hair and she might not the smiling happy girl of his memories, but she was still Carol.

Carmella handed everyone a bowl of spicy chili and a corn tortilla. After lunch Carol and Sophia went upstairs for a nap. Daryl had work that kept him out of the house until dinner. He knew he and Carol needed to talk. Set a few ground rules.

After dinner, he asked Carol if she wanted to go over the ranch ledger with him. She nodded and followed him into the study. He showed her the map of the ranch. "Maybe tomorrow we could ride out to look the property over."

She looked startled, "I haven't ridden in years."

"It's like riding a bike. It'll come back." Daryl opened the ledger and they spent the rest of the evening going over the books. Carol seemed relieved to find out that the ranch's finances were in order.

They had mutually decided to call each other by their first names and that Daryl should continue to live in the house. He was relieved but promised to move his things to Jack's old room on the first floor leaving the entire second floor to Carol and Sophia.

Daryl took a walk outside. He needed to clear the fuzz from his brain. Carol was distant with him. She wasn't unfriendly but she volunteered nothing about her life before she came to Paradise. It was as if she had didn't trust him and he couldn't understand why she would feel that way.

He was just going to have to take it slow and maybe Carol would begin to let her guard down.


	3. What Happened to Carol

What Happened to Carol

Carol Peletier looked out of her ranch house window and saw Daryl walking down the gravel pathway. The shock of seeing him again was starting to wear off and unbidden the memories of their last night together flooded out.

She had gone to the dance wearing a new dress. At twenty that was all she needed to make her happy. The one cloud in her otherwise sunny sky was that her best friend Daryl would not be there. He and his disreputable brother Merle were taking their cattle to market.

The dance was just getting started and her aunt had situated herself in a comfortable seat with some friends and Carol had agreeable company. Her friends had welcomed her to their own crowd when Daryl Dixon walked in.

Twelve years had passed since that night but she could still remember clearly that Daryl was wearing jeans, a blue shirt, and shiny new boots. He looked scrubbed clean and that was new. He could be messy at times but on that night, he had taken pains to look presentable. More than presentable she had to admit. That night he was the most handsome man there.

Martha Givens had muttered, "That cowboy sure does clean up nice."

Carol hated Martha at that moment. She was engaged to George Fisher and she should keep her eyes on her intended. Not on Daryl Dixon. Not ever on Daryl Dixon.

Daryl would never join their group. He was too shy, but surely, he would ask Carol to dance soon. George asked her and in a way of spite she agreed. Let Martha see her intended dance with another woman.

Daryl did ask her to dance later on and Carol happily put her hand in his to dance. Suddenly the shabby barn was a palace. The musicians began to play as if they were in a concert hall. It was all magic and she never wanted it to end.

Everything was different because as she whirled around the room she was looking into Daryl's eyes. His hands were holding onto her and that is all it took to make this a perfect night. She danced with other men that night and she would find herself looking for Daryl. She noticed that other girls were asking Daryl to dance but she could hardly blame them. She was dancing with other men but every other dance was with Daryl.

It was warm in the barn and she agreed to go outside with Daryl happily. It would be a clear sign to all those girls who were eyeing Daryl like he was on the dessert table that she and Darylwere courting. Because they were courting even if the courtship had only started tonight.

She took his arm and they strolled outside together. The warm muscular feel of his arm was disconcerting. It warned her that he wasn't the same boy who sat beside her in school. He was and always would be her friend but he was also a man. Things between them were changing, not in a bad way but different from before.

It was cooler outside and they had strolled along talking idly. Carol remembered thinking that if Daryl tried to kiss her that she would let him. She'd never been kissed before. The last few years of her life had been spent tending to her sick aunt even if she was the kind of girl who took kissing casually which she was most assuredly not. She wanted her first kiss to be with Daryl. Tonight would be good as any for that to happen. Carol was conscious that she would be leaving soon to go to college. She wanted Daryl to think about her while she was gone and to welcome her back when she returned. In short, she wanted to be kissed by Daryl Dixon. Tonight.

They settled themselves on the bench and Carol thought that the kissing would soon be commencing. Daryl's sudden declaration of love was surprising but not unwanted. Telling her he loved her and then kissing her really went along with Carol's dreams. The proposal of an eminent marriage was not.

She gently tried to steer him into reality. He was just starting out in ranching. Taking on the responsibility for a wife and children right now wasn't in his best interest. They were only twenty. She was an orphan and had no money of her own. Her aunt had left her enough money to go to college but her inheritance was contingent on her going to school. She had promised her aunt that she would go to college. It was what Carol had dreamed about and planned for since she left home to go to high school.

Daryl would not listen to her and maybe she didn't explain it well. Carol had seen too many women worn out. Poverty, hard work and too many children turned them into old women before they were thirty. It was too soon for them to marry, but she did tell him that she cared for him. Did he not know what that meant?

Daryl turned cold and distant. He walked her back to the barn and left her there. Carol found her aunt and asked if she was ready to go home. Her aunt had agreed and they went home at once. Carol spent that night in tears. One minute angry at Daryl for not listening to reason and the next heartbroken because she had hurt him. He would see only her rejection of his proposal. He did not see that she loved him. Maybe because she hadn't known that herself until now.

The next morning, she told her aunt all that had transpired between her and Daryl and that she had decided to ride to his ranch to talk to him. Let him know that she did love him. Her aunt had counseled her to wait one more day. Give Daryl a chance to cool down. Carol had agreed somewhat reluctantly but was resolved to follow her heart the next morning.

That evening one of her aunt's friends stopped by with the town gossip. Merle Dixon had gambled away the ranch and the Dixon brothers had left town heading west. They were gone lock, stock and barrel.

Carol had taken a long walk that evening. Daryl had left without a work of goodbye. She might never see him again, but surely if he loved her as he said that he did then he would do something to heal the breech in their relationship. Write a letter or come back to talk to her. True love does not die so easily. Her love for him did not die when he deserted her because he was angry.

Months passed and there was no letter. She went to college and then the long slow slide to disaster began. Her last remaining relative died and the ranch was sold for debts. The bank that was handling her college fund failed and took her chances of staying in school.

Carol decided that she could teach school with a high school education and she found a job some distance away from her friends. She met Edward Peletier there. Alone and unhappy she made the worst decision of her life. He was all charm and sweetness with her. His family had money and he had a good job at a local bank. She didn't love him the way she still loved Daryl but a year had passed without any word from Daryl. It was time to accept that dream would never happen. She married Ed Peletier.

The charm and sweetness ended on her wedding night. Ed took her brutally and she spent the first of many nights crying herself to sleep. Marriage to Ed was hell on earth and the only good thing that had happened was Sophia.

Ed eventually lost his job at the bank and they moved to Texas. He was worse away from his family and her life was a constant battle to placate Ed so that he wouldn't beat her and to find ways to keep Sophia safe. There was no way out. She couldn't divorce him without losing custody of Sophia and leaving her beloved daughter with Ed was unthinkable.

In the first two years of her marriage she would find herself fantasizing that Daryl would rescue her from Ed and take her and Sophia away to live happily ever after. Finally, after a particularly bad night in which Ed had broken her arm she forced herself to accept the reality that Daryl was never coming to take her away. He hadn't really loved her at all. He had left her behind as surely as he had his old ranch.

She had prayed for God to take Ed away and as much as that was a sin she couldn't stop herself. Her only hope for a better life was that Ed die. It didn't happen overnight but after ten miserable years of marriage Ed was killed when his horse kicked him in the head. Ed was drunk and using his whip brutally on the horse. Carol never blamed the horse; the animal had more courage than she did. She sold Ed's horse to a kindly couple with a clear conscience. Ed had left behind nothing but debt and bad memories.

She found a teaching job and she and Sophia struggled to make ends meet on a teacher's salary. Then one afternoon a lawyer from their town stopped by the schoolhouse as she and Sophia were leaving. He explained that a distant cousin had left her property in New Mexico. The lawyer accompanied them to a local bank where a cashier's check was waiting for her. She was to take that money clear any debts that she had and buy tickets to Paradise, New Mexico.

Carol thought that they had the wrong woman but the lawyer finally convinced her to take the money and clear her debts. He assured her that he had already been paid. There was still a goodly sum left over after she bought the tickets and she kept that to start over somewhere else. It was difficult for her to accept good fortune after twelve years of misery.

Then there was Daryl Dixon waiting at the bottom of the train steps. He looked as shocked as she felt but the years had only made him more handsome. At thirty-two he was in the prime of his life. At thirty-two she was as washed up as a woman twice her age. There were streaks of silver in her short dark hair. She had cut her hair in a fit of rage against Ed. He had dragged her by her hair once too often. The beating that she took for her act of defiance was worth it.

This place didn't seem real to her. It was all like a very elaborate dream. No one inherits a ranch from a relative they have never met. No one finds their long-lost love and lives happily ever after.

Daryl Dixon had broken her heart twelve years ago. He had declared that he would love her forever and the next day he left her behind. She would never let herself think of him as anything more than a casual acquaintance again. He was obviously a competent foreman and he would continue to be a presence in her life. They would co-exist in the same space but she would never ever love him again. She would never marry again. That ship had sailed and went aground on a very rocky shore. Carol Everdene Peletier was going to be single for the rest of her life. That was a future she could believe in.

Carol looked around her handsomely furnished room. Sophia had claimed the room next to hers and was already asleep. If this was a dream? She could only hope that it lasted a very long time.


	4. Getting Acquainted

Getting Acquainted

Daryl was out before daybreak the next morning. That was his usual routine and he was determined that nothing about his life was going to change just because Carol Everdene had stepped off a train and back into his life. He had been happy enough before yesterday. He would work through this the way he had worked through losing everything in Oklahoma.

He drank coffee while the bunkhouse hands ate their breakfast. He usually ate with them but he had already planned to take Carol around the place so waiting to eat with her this morning was only proper.

The cowboys ate like starving wolves as always. Daryl's stomach was a little off. Nothing major. Just felt jumpy this morning. So waiting might be better.

Carol had been horse crazy back in Oklahoma. Rode all the damn time. Daryl went through the list of available horses. She couldn't ride his horse. No one else but Daryl rode Diablo. Mostly because Diablo didn't really like anyone else. Too dangerous to put Carol on such a willful horse.

It would have to be Songbird. He'd bought the mare four years before, when she was little more than a filly. Slender and graceful. Her coat a rich sorrel with white feet and a splash of white in her face. He had spent way too much for Songbird but there was something about the way she flung back her head that had reminded him of Carol. That is why he named her songbird. A carol is a song. Songbird was spirited but he had always been gentle with her. Her liveliness was part of her and who was he to break her spirit?

A quick trip to the barn to ask Cesar to have the horses ready by nine. Cesar oversaw the care and keeping of the horses. He had been a hell of a cowboy until an injury ended his rough riding days. Jack had put him in charge of the horses.

Carol and Sophia were just coming into the kitchen as he kicked off his boots by the door. Carol wasn't dressed for riding which irritated him. He wanted to show her the place. She didn't look tired or sick. She looked damn beautiful with her pixie haircut. He didn't even miss all that curly hair.

Breakfast was eggs and steak. He bit back his smile as Carol looked at the heaping portion that Camilla had put in front of her. _Damn woman needed to eat more so she wouldn't be so damn skinny._

Camilla was watching Carol, "Is there anything wrong?"

Carol mustered up one of those smiles for Camilla that used to make him melt. "I was just appreciating how delicious it looks. You are a wonderful cook, Camilla."

Daryl laughed and he found that his touchy stomach and irritation with Carol had both disappeared, "Yes, she is and Camilla loves a clean plate."

Carol's aunt had always insisted that she "clean" her plate even if whatever was on the menu was something that Carol hated. Like chicken and dumpling which everyone else in America but Carol loved. Carol favored him with a frown. Just getting her to drop the cool and distant manner was enough to make him smirk back at her. He would tell Camilla not to serve chicken and dumplings again though.

"Do you not want to ride this morning?" He had already made her frown at him. Might as well stir her up some more.

There was a slight flush on her pale face as she looked at him, "I don't have any riding clothes."

Carol as a girl had always used a regular saddle. It was Oklahoma. People didn't waste money for a saddle for "ladies." Not in New Mexico either.

Daryl looked at Camilla. "Maybe a pair of jeans?" Rosita wore jeans.

Camilla nodded, "Sure, Rosita has several pairs. My mother does not like that she wears them, but Rosita does not listen."

"I haven't ridden in years."

"You'll like Songbird. I wouldn't put you on a horse that you couldn't ride, Carol."

She gave him an icy look from those winter blue eyes. "I'll change after breakfast." Carol smiled at Camilla, "You and Rosita have been so kind to us." She tackled her breakfast with ferocity giving Daryl another wintry glance.

All four females disappeared upstairs after breakfast. Daryl thought about the cool morning. Carol was used to Texas weather. He remembered that Jack had ordered a jacket from Santé Fe last year. It arrived via the train and everything was wrong. He had specified to the tailor that he wanted a dark blue and it was a barn red. Jack wasn't a big man but the jacket was much too small. Jack had gotten sick right after that. The jacket was probably still hanging in the front closet.

He found it pushed over to the side. He pulled it out and looked it over. A year old but never worn. It was made of some sort of thick denim but had a warm soft flannel liking. It looked like it would fit Carol and hearing voices from the upstairs he looked up. Carol and Sophia were coming down the stairs. Carol dressed in jeans with a blue shirt and that odd feeling in his stomach returned. _Feels like it is my turn to read in school._

He held up the jacket, "I think you can wear this." Camilla and Rosita gave him pleased smiles. It was obvious that they already liked the new owner of Shepherd Ranch. "Try it on." It seemed ungentlemanly to just hand it to her. Jack had gone to some lengths to teach him good manners. So Daryl helped Carol into the jacket which looked like it had been tailored for her.

Sophia exclaimed, "You look pretty, Momma."

Daryl was inclined to agree but decided from the expectant looks he was getting from Camilla and Rosita that he should refrain. _They don't need to be minding my business_. He opened the front door for Carol. The others trailed along behind them. Cesar was waiting with the Diablo and Songbird.

Carol put her hand out to Songbird who licked it delicately. Daryl handed her a sugar cube and the mare nuzzled it out of her hand. He handed one to Sophia and the girl held her hand out cautiously. Songbird took it out of her hand with one lick of her tongue.

The girl needed her own horse. Daryl clamped his mouth shut. He could tell by the tender look on Carol's face that she was probably thinking the same things. _Not my business._

Carol was cautious in the saddle at first but Songbird had an easy gait. The ranch was too big to explore in a morning but Daryl wanted her to see some of it. A good portion the ranch was bordered by the Paradise River. The river was high now since the snow was beginning to melt up in the mountains. In summer the water levels would drop but it still flowed through the valley and kept it green. Everything was bursting into life, the leaves greening the trees, wild flowers adding smudges of color as they rode along. Carol riding Songbird beside him. It made him feel twenty again but he knew he needed to rein that in. They weren't twenty. Carol had married and had a child. Was she still married or was she a widow?

She asked lots of questions about the ranch and Daryl answered but finally as they started back he asked, "Where is your husband?"

Her reply was curt, "Ed Peletier was killed a year ago."

An overwhelming sense of relief flooded Daryl but he tried not to let it show. "You're on your own then."

"I'll need help," Carol admitted.

Daryl grinned at her, "I ain't going nowhere. That is unless you fire me."

They were back in time for lunch. It had been decided that they would go to Paradise this afternoon. Carol had more papers to sign at the lawyer's office and the bank. This time Sophia went with them.

 _She's only been here twenty-four hours but everything is different. Yesterday we rode home as strangers and now it's starting to feel normal to have Carol and Sophia with me on the way to town._

TWDTWDTWD

Carol really hoped this wasn't a dream. Yesterday she'd been terrified when she came off the train that a man would be standing there to tell her that it was all a big mistake. The rightful heiress was found and she could turn around and go back to Texas. Or it that the ranch would be nothing more than a shack in the wilderness.

Daryl escorted her and Sophia inside the lawyer's office and she signed more papers. Then a trip to the bank. The bank president suggested that she open a private account for her personal use. The ranch's account would be separate and both she and Daryl could write checks on it.

She walked out of the bank with a checkbook and a purse full of cash. It was an exhilarating feeling. Daryl was waiting outside with Sophia and his brother Merle. The fly in her ointment. Merle. The brother who had drunkenly gambled away their ranch in Oklahoma. The reason why Daryl had left town before she could talk to him. Yes, that Merle.

That Merle favored her with a polite greeting and an offer of an ice cream sundae in a local restaurant. One look at Sophia's happy face and she agreed. Merle led the way with Sophia clinging to his arm. So it was only proper for her to take Daryl's arm. She had forgotten how muscular he was. Not that she needed to be thinking about Daryl's muscles.

The restaurant was empty which wasn't surprising since it was after lunch time and well before the evening crowd. Merle led them to a window table with a fine view of the Paradise business district. He and Sophia ordered the sundaes and settled in a seat facing the street.

Merle glanced at his watch and seemed satisfied with whatever he saw there. Daryl had told her that Merle had found some gold while out prospecting and had bought a store here in town. He wasn't the rough wild man that she remembered at all. He wanted Sophia to visit the town library after they enjoyed their ice cream.

The sundaes arrived and Carol thought she might have to buy some new clothes soon. Everyone in Paradise seemed determined to make her fat. The sundae glasses were heaped with ice cream, whipped cream, cherries, and chocolate syrup. Everyone dug in.

Carol looked up from her spoon to see Merle's cold blue eyes light up. Something in the street was holding his interest. Given his past she thought it might be a woman of ill repute and her curiosity demanded that she give a quick glance. The street was virtually deserted and the only woman in sight was a tall woman dressed in discreet clothing. The woman turned slightly and Carol that the woman was a Negro woman with golden brown skin and air of competence.

Merle was still staring at her with the same yearning look that Sophia had given the ice cream sundae. _Can Merle be in love with a woman of color_? _Could that be possible? Does Daryl know?_ Daryl was too busy concentrating on slowly devouring his treat. He had always done that. Never gulping desserts down. He savored them. Maybe because he got so few of them growing up? He had managed to leave a slight chocolate smear in the corner of his mouth. Messy. He might be wearing clean clothes and freshly showered but Daryl Dixon had some magic power to attract dirt to him. At least this time it was just chocolate and Carol knew she should hand him a napkin to wipe it off and stop wondering what it would feel like to lick it off.

To distract herself from that delicious fantasy she looked back at Merle. The truth hit her then. _We don't get to pick who we fall in love with. Merle didn't wake up one day and say, "I want to love someone of color just to make life more interesting". How brave he is to love her_.

She handed Daryl and Sophia a napkin when they finished. Merle mentioned a trip to the library and Sophia wanted to go. It was just up the street so all four of them walked toward a white frame building that looked newly built.

Merle's woman was standing at the check-out desk with a stack of books as they came in. She was loading the books into a canvas bag and chatting with the librarian. Tall, almost as tall as Merle with perfect posture. A beautiful woman with deep dark eyes with long thick eyelashes.

Merle made the introductions. The librarian's name was Olivia Flynn and the tall Negro woman was Delcia James. She was a teacher at the Negro school and she came once a week to get books for her student to read that week.

Delcia shook hands politely but was edging toward the door. She did smile at Sophia and suggest that she try "The Wizard of Oz". She appeared to be polite, well-educated, and non-confrontational. In short, the opposite of Merle.

Merle subtly moved in Delcia's path. He announced that she also gave piano lessons. Sophia's eyes lit up again and Carol had to give Merle an "A" for effort. He had an uphill battle to win the admirable Delcia but he wasn't going down without a fight.

Carol gave Sophia a warning look but turned to Delcia, "Sophia has always wanted to learn to play the piano. If you have any openings we would appreciate your giving Sophia an opportunity to learn. We have just moved to a ranch not far out of town. It would be no trouble for me to bring her to you." Carol smiled at Delcia who looked at Sophia and bit her lip.

"Next week is our Spring Recital and I am very busy until then. Perhaps we could start with a month's worth of lessons? Just to see is Sophia is really interested in learning." Delcia smiled back and turned to go. Merle opened the door for her and then she was out the door. Sophia decided to sign out "The Wizard of Oz". There was still time enough to visit the Paradise Emporium.

Merle's store was larger than she would have expected. It had a lot of almost anything you could want. Merle and Daryl went off to talk and Carol and Sophia had a considerable mound of needed items by the time the two brothers returned.

Daryl went to get the wagon. He had taken the team to the livery stable when they got there. Merle waited with her at the store. Sophia had started the book and was lost in another world. Merle said casually, "You don't want to miss the Spring Recital. It is held at the opera hall and everyone goes. It isn't just piano playing. There is singing and some awkward ballet. It's next Friday night. I have a house here in town that has plenty of room for you to stay the night. There's a party after the recital too that everyone goes to. Give you a chance to meet people."

They were still standing there chatting when a tall man came into the store. Merle introduced him as Tobin Boldwood and Carol as Mrs. Peletier.

The tall man smiled, "Just call me Tobin and I would be pleased to call you by your first name. I believe that we're probably neighbors. My property is close to the Shepherd Ranch." He seemed very friendly but there was a frown on Merle's face.

"Call me Carol and this is Sophia." Sophia put down her book and politely acknowledged, "Mr. Boldwood."

Just then Daryl came in. He gave Tobin a nod and then turned to Carol, "You ready to go." He and Merle began to grab packages and Carol found herself whisked out the door.

Merle helped Sophia and Carol into the wagon seat as Daryl finished putting the last of their purchases in the back. Sophia looked at Carol, "Mr. Boldwood is too tall. I don't like him."

Carol gave her daughter a stern look, "You shouldn't dislike people because they are tall." She thought about Delcia, "Or a different color. That's being prejudiced."

Sophia shrugged her shoulders, "I don't like Mr. Boldwood. He likes you too much. I like Daryl." She was so serious that Carol had to keep from smiling. "I do like Miss James and she's very tall. I think Mr. Merle likes her too."

Merle had gone back into the store by then. Tobin Boldwood was nowhere to be seen. Daryl started the team and they headed home.

Daryl had been called away to deal with some problem on the ranch and Sophia was immersed in her book. Carol had spent the evening in front of the lit fireplace thinking about Daryl. He was in turns friendly and then distant to her. She was the same way.

Life with Ed had left scars on her, both physical and mental. Ed got his greatest enjoyment in humiliating her in every way. She had lived for eleven years in constant fear of pain or actual pain. Ed would threaten to take Sophia away from her. He reminded that the courts would give custody to him and not her.

Now Ed was dead and buried in Texas but the damage was still there. She was attracted to Daryl and wanted the comfort of being close to him. But after eleven years of rape and brutality with Ed? Allowing herself to be intimate with any man seemed beyond her right now. She loved him but he deserved better.

She loved the ranch. It was the right place for Sophia and she could build a life here. Maybe a place called Paradise would help her to escape her demons. Maybe it was a place where a Merle could find happiness with a Delcia. Maybe there really were happy ever afters.


	5. Signs of Progress

Signs of Progress

Spring was a busy time at the ranch. There were fences to fix, barns to build, gardens to plow and plant, and colts and calves being born every day and night. Daryl was up before daylight and didn't come back to the ranch house until well after dark. He had always enjoyed the frantic activity of the season before but sometimes he felt a little left out of Carol's and Sophia's lives.

Carol was busy too. She drove Sophia to school every morning and then went back to town to pick her up when school was over for the day. She seemed to be immersed in all the activities around the house and on the time left over she was handling the accounts for the ranch. Sometimes in the evening she and Daryl had a few minutes to go over the books together, but usually she was upstairs with Sophia when he got home.

Daryl usually skipped the Spring Recital. Sitting in a crowded concert hall watching a bunch of kids fumble their way through music never appealed to him but Carol and Sophia wanted to go. He guessed he could suffer through it for one night especially since Tobin Boldwood had stopped by and offered to accompany Carol and Sophia.

He probably wouldn't even have known that Tobin had been there today but a heavy downpour had soaked every inch of him and then the temperature dropped suddenly. Daryl had been angry with himself for leaving the poncho at the barn but going home to change clothes didn't sound all that terrible. Carol and Tobin had been in the kitchen drinking coffee and chatting when he got there. Tobin had been his usual genial self, "I know how busy you are this time of the year, Daryl. I would be happy to take Carol and Sophia to the Spring Recital."

 _Tobin wants Carol for himself_. Daryl's first reaction was to change clothes and go back to work. He glanced at Carol who was watching him _. She thinks I'm going to run_. Daryl turned back to Tobin, "I'm looking forward to going to the Spring Recital this year. We're having dinner at Merle's house before the recital, but I appreciate the offer." He didn't look at Carol. _She might be pissed. Maybe she wanted to go with Tobin._

It was Carol's house and Carol's ranch. She could entertain gentleman callers if she wished. She could attend the Spring Recital with Tobin if she wished. Carol had seen Tobin to the door and then had come back to the kitchen to scold Daryl into changing into dry clothes and reminding him that Merle was expecting them as guests the night of the recital.

Daryl decided on his walk that evening maybe he should be at home in time for supper every evening. Carol might be getting lonely out here on the ranch. Maybe he was a little lonely too and maybe a lot stupid. He'd been so busy showing Carol that he was indispensable to the running of this ranch that he forgot that she had been the one to make him feel comfortable at school all those years ago. She helped him with his school work and more than anything else she had been his friend and gradually the other students had come to accept him as one of their own. He should do be doing that for her.

He admitted something else to himself that night. He had no right to be jealous of Tobin but he was. He had loved this ranch since he landed here but there was something special about riding home in the evening and seeing the lights of the ranch house because Carol and Sophia were there. He never wanted to lose that feeling.

It wasn't the thought of losing the ranch to Tobin. It was just a place. The thought of losing Carol and Sophia was unbearable. He had lost too much time with them already. Maybe if he hadn't left Oklahoma in such a hurry Sophia would be his. Maybe he was running off again by working so many hours. Maybe it wasn't too late for him and Carol.

The next morning, he ate breakfast with Carol and Sophia and offered to drive Sophia to school because he had some business in town. It was a glorious morning and he and Sophia talked as they rode along. Not about anything important but it felt good to know that she wasn't so shy and reserved with him now. Signs of progress.

Merle was drinking coffee and reading a newspaper on front porch. Merle's house was too large for a single man but his brother had taken years planning his home. A Spanish Foursquare with a tiled roof and arched windows. The sides were stucco and the floors inside were tiled on the main floor and a dark hardwood upstairs. There was a conservatory at the rear of the house and it was both elegant and functional. He employed a housekeeper and two maids to keep it spotless. _Merle spent a lot of money on this house. Maybe too much. People are saying that he's on the verge of bankruptcy._

Merle put his newspaper down, "My hardworking brother is here on a Tuesday morning. What's wrong, Lil' Bruther? Want some coffee?"

Daryl sat down beside his brother, "Nothing's wrong. I got to thinking about this Spring Recital. By the way I told Carol that we were coming to your house for dinner."

Merle nodded but said nothing.

"What do I wear?"

Merle laughed long enough to really piss Daryl off. Finally, he gave one last snicker and answered honestly, "You need a nice suit. Not real fancy but you are escorting Carol and I know she is going to look very fetching. Between her looks and her inheritance? She's going to attract suitors. Glad to see that you are getting a grip on reality. It's late but I know where we can get you a nice suit by Friday. Let's go."

Daryl had a suit. He had worn it to Jack's funeral but it was a little threadbare. He followed Merle to his automobile. Noisy and undependable but Merle used it anyway. "I have the wagon."

Merle ignored him and called for Axel to come and take care of the team. Axel had been a drunkard but he had sobered up the last year. Merle hired him to work for him.

 _I hope his automobile doesn't break down again._ Merle and Axel were able to get it started but it was anyone's guess how long the automobile would run. Daryl got in the passenger seat and Merle revved the engine up and away they flew toward town _. We're the Dixon brothers not the Wright brothers._

Merle ushered him into a small tailor shop, "The owner just retired from being a porter. He, his wife, and his whole family work here. You want a suit fast. Go to Theo." Theo was a very tall Negro man. His wife Jacqui smiled at Merle, "Very good to see you again, Mr. Dixon."

Merle motioned in Daryl direction, "My brother needs a suit for the Spring Recital."

Theo began to take measurements. Daryl flinched. He didn't like anyone that close to him. He'd never been measured for a suit before and he really hoped that he didn't need another suit anytime soon.

Merle and Jacqui discussed the suit. Daryl was thinking black and the two of them liked gray. He knew it was going to be gray. Theo announced that he would drop it off at Merle's by Friday and that the price would include a tailored shirt and tie as well.

The vehicle started more easily this time and soon Merle was driving up his driveway, "How are you and Carol getting along?"

"We're two different people than we were in Oklahoma and we've both been busy since she got here."

Merle turned the automobile off. "You aren't the same boy you were either. That's a good thing. You're a man now. From what Jack's lawyer told me? Her husband was a son of a bitch. Treated her like our father treated our mother. She's going to be skittish but you have always had patience. Carol is going to be a cake walk after dealing with me."

Daryl had noticed that Carol flinched as much as he did. Merle's words confirmed what he _suspected. I ran off after we lost that ranch. I should have at least told her goodbye. I had my feelings hurt and Carol married a man that hurt her. I'm never letting anyone hurt her again_. Time to change the subject. "So, is this house finally finished?"

Merle laughed, "Hell, no. Houses are never finished. They grow as life goes on." There was a determined look on his face that Daryl remembered well. Merle always had that look when he wanted something.

"What does it need now?" Daryl hoped it wasn't anything expensive. Merle loved this house, but how far in debt had he gone to build it?

"A house like this needs a woman in it. Not just any woman, this house demands that its mistress be a lady of distinction." Merle stared at the house as if he thought that woman was going to walk out onto the veranda and greet him.

"How are you going to lasso a woman like that? Got someone in mind? Is that why you take so many trips to Santé Fe?"

His brother shook his head at him, "There are ladies of distinction in Paradise."

"That new woman doctor in town? What's her name? Andrea something." Daryl had seen her driving by in her buggy. Blond and beautiful."

"Her name is Dr. Andrea Harrison. She and her sister Amy are ladies of distinction. Dr. Harrison finished medical school in the east and then worked in a hospital in Philadelphia to become a surgeon. Amy is her nurse. Their father was a doctor and nothing could stop Andrea from following in his footsteps."

There was something in Merle's tone as he talked about Andrea that told Daryl that Andrea Harrison was not his brother's woman of distinction. "You seem to know a lot about her?"

"She and Amy grew up in Philadelphia and Glenn Rhee lived next door to them. The three of them are like brother and sisters. Glenn lost his parents early on and Dale and Irma Horvath took him in. Andrea and Amy's mother died in childbirth and Dr. Harrison never married again. Irma mothered the girls the way she did Glenn."

Daryl knew Glenn Rhee. He and Eugene Porter were in some sort of partnership with Merle to bring electricity to the town. Glenn was a civil engineer and Daryl had never figured out exactly what Eugene was. Eccentric and annoying, but Merle insisted that Eugene was a genius.

"I have to get back to the ranch. Why don't you bring Glenn, Eugene and the Harrisons t to the ranch tomorrow evening for supper?" Daryl had never entertained much, but he reasoned it would be good for Carol to meet new people.

Merle nodded, "I'll talk to them today. Now you go home and take care of your girls." His brother got back in his automobile and backed out of his driveway. He was off in a roar of the vehicle's engine. Daryl watched him until he was out of sight. _He isn't going to say who his lady of distinction is but there is something that is keeping his mouth shut. Merle's never been one to keep secrets._

Carol was off in a flurry when he told her that they were having guests tomorrow night. It wasn't a big deal. They'd just throw some steaks on the grill and Camilla and Rosita would whip something up. No big deal.

It was apparently a big deal for Carol who spent most of the afternoon with Camilla and Rosita. Daryl busied himself with the ranch but late that evening he asked Carol to take a walk with him. She was wearing jeans and a blue sweater. He wanted to take her hand but Merle had warned him to have patience.

She wanted to know about their guests and he told her all that he knew. "You aren't mad at me for inviting them?"

Carol shook her head. "It's your home too."

Daryl kicked at a stone, "It's your home. You own Shepherd Ranch."

There was a large flat boulder off the side and Carol sat down, "Let's sit a minute. I have business to discuss with you."

Her tone was serious and Daryl's first thought was that she wanted to sell out and leave. That would give her enough money to live comfortably and she wouldn't have to worry about beef prices or bad weather. He could lose her again. He didn't sit beside her and he turned to face the sunset. "I'm listening."

"I grew up on a ranch so I know a little about ranching. I don't know enough to make a go of it. I need a good foreman or I'm out of business in five years. I love Shepherd Ranch and I want to stay forever."

There was a quiver in her voice that made Daryl want to tell her not to worry. That he wasn't going anywhere.

She went on and her voice was a little stronger, "I want to sell half of the ranch to you. I want you to be my partner, Daryl."

His first thought was relief that was staying, but he wasn't no charity case. "You don't have to sell me half of the ranch to keep me around. I love this place too."

She stood up and moved closer to him, "You'll work even harder if you own half of the place. So, is it a deal?"

He turned toward her. "We'll be stuck with each other from now on. I'll never sell my half."

"I won't sell mine either so we'll just have to get along with one another. One thing though, I'm going to renovate the ranch house with some of your money."

He was dumbstruck. The ranch house was perfect the way it was. "Why would you want to do that?"

"The kitchen is too small, the dining room is too small, and everything needs to be modernized. It's 1900 not 1800. New century demands some changes. I am not a fan of log and chink walls. The ranch is your domain but the house is mine."

 _Carol was going to tear everything apart and start all over. Next thing there would be wallpaper in every room and probably little white doilies everywhere_. _Then again it was her house. It always would be her house and she would always be there. Worse damn things in this life than living with wallpaper and doilies. Like living in this house without her._ "Whatever you say, partner. Let's shake hands. Maybe we could change the name of the ranch. How about Caryl Ranch? Spell it C-a-r-y-l and it will stand for both of us. We'll make our brand and "C" and a "D" entwined." _I am sure as hell is hot not going to have a "Peletier" on anything on this ranch._

Carol held out her hand and he shook it. They were partners now. He wanted to keep holding it but they were making progress.

The two of them went into town the next morning to talk to the lawyer. He agreed to have deed written by Friday. They were coming to town anyway to go to the Spring Recital.

They stopped by the Emporium to buy a few things. Carol shopped while Daryl talked to Merle about buying half of the ranch. Merle offered to help. His brother's generosity was going to send him to the poorhouse. "Jack left me money in his will. Enough to buy half of the ranch."

Sheriff Rick Grimes came in the store and Merle called him over to the office, "Got something I need to talk over with you, lawman."

Daryl was ready to go look for Carol but Merle cautioned him to stay, "You need to hear this too."

The lanky lawman walked toward the office and Merle waited until they were inside and the door was shut to talk, "Have you met Phillip Blake?"

Daryl shook his head. He didn't have much doings in town. He glanced toward Rick Grimes who squirmed a bit in his chair, "I have met him. He seems congenial. Don't you like him? He is going to open a store that will compete with yours."

Merle rubbed his close-cut hair, "There's something shaky about this man. I take a lot of walks around this town. More than you, Rick, because you have a lot of territory to cover. He's not the only new face in town. Two new men showed up about that same time Blake did. A Mexican named Martinez and a Negro named Shumpert. Martinez just bought the old hotel on the other side of town. It's been empty for a couple of years now. Shumpert bought Jim Carroll's saloon which is right beside the old hotel."

He rubbed his head again, "You know that in my past I've been an enthusiastic supporter of both saloons and whore houses, but I don't want either of them to get their foothold in our town. Phillip Blake is in cahoots with the other two. He's not going to soil his hands by being actively involved but he is the one behind all this. Rick, watch your step. You're an honest lawman and Blake will prefer a crooked one.

Rick stood up, "Thanks for the head's up, Merle."

Daryl invited Rick and his boy to dinner that evening. Rick's wife up and left him two years ago. They got a divorce and he had custody of Carl. His wife had remarried and was living in Denver. Carl took the train to see her from time to time.

Rick agreed to come, "My boy is always talking about this new girl in his class. Sophia's her name. Is she living at the ranch?"

Daryl was quick to tell him that Sophia lived there with her mother. Carol was finishing up paying for her purchases when they left Merle's office. Daryl introduced Rick to Carol still stumbling over her last name.

That evening the Caryl ranch house was filled with laughter and conversation. Carol was a gracious hostess and everyone had a good time. Eugene followed Rosita around but she seemed to find him amusing. Camilla and Cesar had set up a buffet table and everyone served themselves. Carol had made sure that they knew they were welcome to eat with them but Daryl noticed that they ate together in the kitchen.

After dinner Andrea apologized to Carol for having to leave so soon, "I have a patient that I need to check on this evening."

Merle had brought the two women in his vehicle along with Glenn and Eugene, "I'm ready."

Rick stood up, "I need to get back too. I can drive you and Amy back in my buggy. Probably safer than Merle's driving."

Merle smirked, "You take the good doctor. I can bring everyone with me. Where's Carl?"

Daryl figured by the time they found Carl the patient could be buried, "Let him stay the night here. We'll drop him off at your house in the morning before school. Got plenty of room."

Carl and Sophia resurfaced in time to say goodbye to Merle and his crew. Carl was so nonchalant about being left that Daryl suspected that the boy had planned it all along.

It was late when he and Carol took their walk so Daryl offered her his arm. They talked as they meandered down the road. "I'm thinking about offering Cesar a job at my other ranch. I need a foreman there. We do the books and I'll be over there from time to time."

"There's a ranch house there? Camilla will go with him."

"Damn it, I'm gonna lose Cesar and Camilla?"

"Stop cursing. You're going to gain an able foreman and he's going to gain an able wife."

Daryl shook his head but he did bring a hand up to cover Carol's hand on his arm. "Lot of changes around here. When are you going to start destroying our home?"

"Merle is going to talk to the man who built his home. Oscar will be out to see me tomorrow. It won't be that bad and think how nice it will be when it is finished." There was that teasing tone again.

Daryl tried not to think about wallpaper and white doilies. "Your house, your domain. I got it, partner."

AN

 **Lots of new/old characters being added. Phillip Blake who is always the serpent in the garden. Martinez and Shumpert as his henchmen.**

 **Andrea as a doctor which would be quite daring in 1900. Rick as the sheriff.**

 **Things will heat up a big between Carol and Daryl but it will never rise to the level of smut. I'll give you the freedom to imagine what happens in most scenes. I do house porn. Carol is going to redo the ranch house. House porn rules.**

 **Daryl says in this chapter that Merle can't keep a secret. Yes, he can. Merle doesn't tell Daryl everything.**

 **Next chapter is the Spring Recital. I'm going to be jumping around a bit in that one. So be prepared for a good deal of it to be Carol's point of view but I want to show you how Andrea and Rick are getting along and there will be a dollop of Merle and his lady of distinction Delcia.**

 **The Wright Brothers didn't make their first sustained flight until 1903. Okay, I fudged a little but guess who was making electrical discoveries in Colorado in 1900? You don't have a guess? Nikoli Tesla. I don't know how I'm going to do it but Tesla is going to appear in this story.**

 **Hope you are enjoying a very different Caryl story.**


	6. Cards on the Table

Cards on the Table

Carol took a long look at her mirrored self in the full-length mirror of the guest bedroom at Merle's house. The Carol that smiled back at her bore little resemblance to the woman she had been in Texas. There were still streaks of silver in her dark hair but the woman gazing back at her looked happier, more confident, and there was a faint blush on those pale cheeks.

Her new dress was a simple design but it flattered her figure. Karen had taken her measurements and together they had looked at some drawings of dresses that Karen had designed. Carol had tried it on this afternoon and the seamstress had made some last-minute alternations. At last, Karen had surveyed her from all sides and smiled. "You look beautiful. The pink and blue blend together with your coloring."

It was time to go downstairs. There was going to be a light supper served before the recital and an after-recital party here this evening. Merle wanted to show off his finished house to his friends.

Carol wondered if Delcia James would be here. It was a big night for her. Her students would be performing and there had been an anonymous donation pledged to her school if she would play and sing tonight. Carol suspected Merle's hand in all that. He wanted Delcia's talent to be recognized. Did Delcia know that it was Merle?

Daryl was fiddling with his collar in the drawing room and she headed toward him. "I'll do it."

His eyes widened slightly as he took in her new dress, "You look pretty."

Daryl looked pretty in his new suit but she didn't think he would appreciate her telling him that. "Let me adjust your tie." The combination of gray suit, dazzling white shirt, and light blue tie would guarantee that he would get attention from the ladies. "You look handsome".

He ducked his head shyly. "Gotta look good if I'm going to be squiring around the best-looking woman in the room." He stretched his arms up, "I can actually move in this suit. I ever need another suit? I'm going back to Theo Douglass."

His suit was well-made. It accentuated his wide shoulders and muscular arms and his narrow waist. The gray suit matched his eyes and she noticed that his blue tie matched the blue in her dress.

Daryl fiddled with his tie. "This is the color of your eyes. You hungry?"

Merle and Sophia were already eating. He had just finished "The Wizard of Oz" and the two of them were discussing the book with great seriousness _. He would be a great father._

Paradise was usually empty after four o'clock but this evening it was buzzing with traffic. Merle found a parking space and they were ushered in to the opera house and into private box seats. Merle left them to attend to business. Carol could see him with Glenn and Eugene at the back of the stage.

Daryl leaned over the rail, "He's up to something. He said that he had a big surprise tonight."

Carl Grimes and Sophia were off to the side talking. Carol lowered her voice, "Do you have any idea what those three are up to?"

Daryl came back to sit beside her, "It could be anything. It's Merle. He likes to rattle the cage every now and then." He leaned closer to her to look at the program. "Don't see anything there." Daryl's breath warmed her ear and she wanted to lean against him. She resisted because this was not the time or the place.

The big room was dimly lit. The lamps should have already been lit. It was time to begin, the room was full, and she could hear the high-pitched sounds from excited children behind the curtain. Where was Merle?

A young man in a dark suit marched across the front of the stage. He held his hands up to silence the crowd and introduced himself as Milton Mamet the mayor of Paradise. He looked awfully young to be a mayor but he spoke with quiet authority. "Ladies and gentlemen, I have a surprise for you. As you may know we have an enterprising entrepreneur in Paradise named Merle Dixon. Mr. Dixon has teamed up with Glenn Rhee and Eugene Porter to bring Paradise into the twentieth century."

The curtain opened to the three men standing on the stage. The confused crowd clapped and cheered. Merle held up his hand, "Let's wait to see if this works." There was nervous laughter. Eugene and Glenn walked off the stage. Merle began counting, "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two and at last one." Suddenly the lights around the stage flickered and then came on. The electric lights that had been inset in the walls came on. The crowd cheered wildly and Daryl turned to her, "They did it. They have brought electricity to Paradise."

Andrea and Rick appeared in the doorway. Andrea slid into the seat beside her, "We saw it from downstairs. Now we can install electric lights in the surgery room."

The show went on and Merle joined them in the box. Milton introduced each performer and some were very good and some were not. There were white, Negro, and Mexican children playing musical instruments. There wore singers and dancers of every hue. The last three performances were those of the teachers. Delcia was last. Merle had disappeared and Carol suspected that he wanted to watch her by himself.

The crowd quieted down when Delcia came out and sat down at the piano. Delcia played as if she was the only one in the room. Carol didn't know what she was playing but she knew that Delcia played it perfectly. At the end of Delcia's performance all the participants came out to take a final bow. It was over.

Proud parents hugged their children and thanked the teachers for their hard work. Merle came back, "We can take the back stairs and avoid the crowd."

The electric streetlights were on as they came outside to the cool night air. Merle was congratulated by well-wishers at every hand. Andrea came with them because Rick needed to stay where the crowd was.

Back at home Daryl and Merle took off their suit jackets and loosened their ties. The house was ablaze with electric lights and Merle's guests began to filter in. Merle's guests were as diverse as the performers. Glenn Rhee was talking to a dark-haired girl who was the daughter of Paradise's other doctor, Hershel Green. Dr. Green's other daughter was talking to Oscar's son Noah. Everyone was excited about the changes electricity would bring to Paradise.

Amy Harrison and Milton Mamet were working the crowd like practiced politicians. Carol thought that they looked good together. Rick and Andrea were off in a corner together. Sophia and Carl disappeared upstairs to play games.

Merle introduced Carol to all sorts of people who were basically a blur after the first three or four. A Negro man wearing a clerical collar came in with Delcia. Merle steered her toward them and Delcia had stood by silently as Carol was introduced to her brother, the Reverend Gabriel James.

Daryl rescued her, "Let's go outside and get some fresh air." He took her hand and she followed him out a side door and down a lit gravel path to the river. There was a bench there with a view of the moonlit water and they sat down.

Daryl stared at the river and then turned toward her and kissed her. The kiss that she had wanted twelve years before when she was young and untouched. The kiss that she still wanted but she pulled away after a few moments of reveling in the sweetness of his lips.

Things needed to be said. "Ed is dead and gone but his shadow still hangs over me. He liked to hurt me in and out of bed. I hated every moment I was with him. I love you but I can't promise that I'll ever be any more than that with you. We're partners in the ranch but you aren't under any obligation to me."

Daryl took her hand, "I bought Songbird when she was a half wild filly. Someone had tried to break her like she was some wild bronco. It took me four years before she trusted me enough to let me put a saddle on her. I am a patient man. I love you. My father was a violent man. I got scars all over my back from his cruelties. We belong together. Always did and always will. Just kiss me and we'll figure all this out together."

She did kiss him and she relaxed when he kissed her back. Eventually, they went back to the house. She and Daryl had a long conversation with Oscar about renovations at the ranch house. Oscar was free to take on new projects because Merle's house was finished. Oscar promised to come out to the ranch tomorrow. She did notice that Merle had disappeared and that Delcia was among the missing as well.

TWDTWDTWD

Delcia wandered through Merle's house. She hadn't wanted to come here tonight but Gabriel had been insistent. Her normally easy going brother had been angry with her. "Merle Dixon has been a good friend to our people. He hired Negro workers to work on his house along with whites and Mexicans. The power plant was built by local workers. We won't be the only dark skinned folk there tonight."

In the end she had agreed. The anonymous donor to her school was probably Merle and Delcia knew she owed him a polite thank you. She was here to show common courtesy for his generosity so she might as well see the house.

Merle's house was beautifully designed, obviously made with quality materials and a hundred years from now people would still envy those that lived here. Not a perfect foursquare because it was deeper than wide. A conservatory at the rear of the house and a music room. Merle must be planning for a Mrs. Merle to grace his house.

It was time to go back to the party and find Merle to thank him for his donation. Then she could go back to her side of town with her brother. Delcia saw Merle sitting outside on the side veranda as she went by the French doors. She hesitated and then stepped outside. _I'll get this over with and then I can leave._

He was staring up at the sky. He turned as she stepped out and then spoke in a detached tone which wasn't like him at all. Merle was the least detached man she had ever known. He was always completely in the here and now.

"Delcia, have you ever been to a desert?"

She sat down on a chair beside him. "No, I was born in Virginia and never left there until I came here."

"I was born in Georgia and then Daryl and I went to Oklahoma. Then after I totally ruined my brother's life we came here. I decided that I would never make my fortune chasing cows around and I left to be a prospector. I wandered around Arizona for years. At night I would stare into that starry sky and think how small I was in comparison to the universe. I'd never seen that many stars before. I would lie on my back and just stare at them.

I'd never really thought about how enormous the universe is and how small I was by comparison. I started to think about my life and what I wanted it to be. I realized that I had been running my whole life and it was time to stop running and face my demons. Then I learned how to be at peace with myself. Other truths followed. That we only have this one life and God expects us to enjoy it and to treat others the way we would want to be treated. "

"My third year I found gold. Not a lot but enough to know that I might be close to a vein. I gathered that gold flake by flake and then went to Sacramento and sold it. Opened a bank account and saved almost all of it. The next three years I mined that vein, collected it every few months and then took it to a different bank. I never told anyone but Daryl about the money. I finally cleaned out the last of the mine and I decided it was time to come back to Paradise. Time to settle down and spend some of that money. You don't have to thank me, Delcia. Hearing you play was my reward."

He looked at her, " Time to put the cards on the table. I love you. I know that you don't love me. I understand, I didn't want tolove you either, but I do anyway. I built this house for you. It's the kind of house that you should live in. I guess I thought that you would love me if you saw this house."

 _Damn, damn, damn. Why did I stop here and listen to Merle. Now I will never be able to unhear this. Time to be cruel to be kind,_ "Merle, you need to put those thoughts out of your head and find yourself a wife. A woman of your own kind that you can build a life with. That can never be me. I don't want to spend my life being insulted and humiliated at every turn."

He sighed, "I just finished "The Wizard of Oz" this afternoon. Poor Dorothy wandering around Oz in mortal fear of her life and all that time all she had to do was click her heels and say the magic words. I would treat you like a queen and adore you every day of your life but you would rather settle for less. Delcia, I do love you, but I won't speak of this again. If you ever want to get home, my sweet Dorothy, you must click your heels and say the magic words."

He left her then and she had to smile at his making a dramatic exit. It was so Merle. He had told a good deal of truth to her. She believed that he did love her and that he believed that love would conquer all obstacles. He had erred in only one statement. Merle had said that she didn't love him. **I** _do love him and have for a long time. I barely know him but I love his bluster and bravado, his caustic wit and his way with words, his gentleness with children and his generous nature. In short, I love Merle Dixon enough to free him from the burden of loving me._

Delcia found her brother and asked he was ready to go home. Gabriel asked, "Are you well? Do you have a headache?"

"I'm just tired. I'm already thanked Merle so we can go when you are ready." Delcia headed toward the front door. She needed to leave this gracious house and the man who had built it for her before she changed her mind and ruined his life.

AN

 **Carol has finally revealed to Daryl her fears that she can't respond to him the way she believes he deserves. Daryl reassures that he'll be patient and she is willing to try.**

 **On the other hand, Merle tells Delcia that he loves her but she doesn't tell him that she loves him. Their situation does not have an easy fix. It is 1900 and many states wouldn't even recognize a marriage between them. It isn't going to change any time soon either. I did tell you that Merle is the ultimate good guy and in a couple of chapters you will find out how good he is.**

 **Rick and Andrea just didn't squeeze into this chapter.**


	7. Bit of Fun

Bit of Fun

Carol and Oscar spent a pleasant hour walking around the ranch house discussing renovations. Daryl grumping along behind them. Carol chose to ignore his ill humor. She knew Daryl wanted to be out on the ranch but he lived here too.

Carol had sketched out the original dimensions of the ranch house on some drawing paper and she and Oscar y reviewed every inch of proposed changes while Daryl chewed on his thumbnail. Finally, Oscar took the sketches and left promising to be back tomorrow morning.

Daryl headed for the barn to saddle Diablo. He had things to do on the ranch. He was tightening the cinches on the saddle when Carol appeared wearing jeans. He stopped to admire her ass. She had been every inch of a lady last night in her pretty dress but he liked her better in riding clothes.

"Daryl, I'm hoping that you make it home in time for dinner and after that we can sit down together and go over the changes on the house." She had that no nonsense look on her face that he remembered from school. Carol was a stickler for finishing assignments. She'd hound him until he got his finished too.

 _I'm not ten anymore. It's time to let it be known that I ain't no pussy. I've got things to do on the ranch. I don't care about the crown molding or the size of the closets. Women think about that shit. It's not important to me like it is to Carol. Merle did warn me that women like to "nest". Don't I want her to nest here? Male birds help build the nest._ He sighed, "I'll try to be home."

Carol gave him a cheeky grin, "I can always share my ideas with Tobin."

 _Ain't no way in hell that's gonna happen._ Daryl dropped the reins and pulled Carol into his arms and kissed her thoroughly. _Long and sweet. Needed some tongue to make it better but this is the wrong time and place for that._ He released her and swung himself into the saddle, "Don't be sharing anything more than ideas with Tobin. I'll be home early."

He gave Diablo a casual slap with the reins and they cantered away before Carol could say anything. _I got the last word that time._

 _I was in love with a ghost. That little girl in the seat beside me at school, the teenage Carol who was away more than she was home, and that young woman who I wanted to marry. I loved them all but that isn't who she is anymore. A dozen years, a child, and a bad marriage changed her. It's taken me a few days to get my head around that. I loved who she was and I'm in love with who she is now._

 _I'm going to love her a dozen years from now and a dozen years from then I'll love her even more. I don't know how not to love her._

Carol went about her day at the ranch rather glad that she didn't have to make any important decisions. She was still in a bit of a daze about Daryl. He promised to be patient with her last night and then kissed her this morning as if they were already together.

She carved out enough time to take a long ride on Songbird and then found a quiet spot by the river. _I love Daryl and I want to share a life with him, but I also want to not be tied down to conventionality. I want to keep my hair short and wear pants when I want to. I've want to draw and paint when I want to. I would like to see more of the world. Can I have that and have Daryl too?_

 _Aunt Amelia and Uncle Andrew had been conventional. They worked hard during the week and attended church on Sunday. He ran the ranch and Aunt Amelia took care of the house. They took me in after my parents died and did their best to give me a happy home. Aunt Amelia taught me how to cook and sew, but she also let me run around in pants and be best friends with a boy more feral than tame. Aunt Amelia and Aunt Martha wanted me to go to high school and then college. That wasn't conventional._

 _I knew all about the birds and the bees from growing up on a ranch. Aunt Amelia gave the "talk" about having a period before it happened and she cautioned me that I must protect my reputation. I must not let a man get "familiar" with me before marriage. Men she said wanted an unsoiled bride. It started the marriage on the right note. I was an unsoiled bride but all the musical notes after that were jarring._

 _Aunt Amelia's face was flushed by then but she had gone to say, "Carol, you are a pretty girl and you will have your pick of beaux. Pick wisely. Don't be deceived by handsome clothes or perfect manners. So, know them well before you marry. The right man and you'll have a good life. A partner and well, a bit of fun once in a while."_

 _Aunt Amelia didn't meet her eyes and her face was a darker shade of red. Her aunt would say, "Carol, let's go bake some cookies. Andrew has a sweet tooth and you can share some with Daryl at school. It'll be a bit of fun after washing clothes this morning."_

 _It was obvious that Aunt Amelia wasn't talking about baking cookies. Aunt Amelia and Uncle Andrew were affectionate around the house. Hugs and such. He would hold her hand occasionally. I grew up in a home thinking that was the way normal people acted. Like they enjoyed touching each other. I knew Aunt Amelia was trying to tell me that the marriage bed should be a happy place._

 _I was miserable after Aunt Amelia died. I was alone and when Ed Peletier proposed I married him. I did everything wrong. I certainly didn't find a "bit of fun" in that unholy alliance._

 _Aunt Amelia and Uncle Andrew loved Daryl though my uncle called him, "That Dixon boy". Uncle Andrew would say in on school mornings, "Take a ham biscuit and give it to that Dixon boy. He's waiting out there by the fence to walk to school with you."_

 _Aunt Amelia invited Daryl and Merle to Sunday dinners and holidays. Looking back, I think they must have thought that Daryl and I would wind up together. She never complained when I went riding with Daryl. I was a complete idiot not to see that._

Daryl was home in time for the dinner that Carol had cooked. Camilla and Rosita had left sandwiches for the hands so that they could visit their mother in town. After dinner Daryl and Sophia had did the dishes after shooing Carol out of the kitchen.

Carol went through her drawings and notes on the house in the parlor while she listened to Daryl and Sophia talking as they did the dishes. It brought back memories of doing the dishes with Uncle Andrew when she was a child. They would send Aunt Amelia out of the kitchen and he would wash and she would dry. They must have talked as they worked but she couldn't remember a single conversation. Just the feeling that he was interested in what she thought about things. Daryl helped too if he was there. Maybe that was why Daryl was out in the kitchen with her daughter. He wanted Sophia to have that feeling of being important to an adult.

Sophia went upstairs to read and Daryl settled beside her on the sofa. He looked at all her drawings and asked sensible questions. "This doubles the size of the house. Why do you need all that room?" He looked at the drawings of the second floor. "Look at the size of this room. You could make two bedrooms out of that. It even has its own bathroom."

His finger was pointing to the master bedroom. Carol gave a little sniff as if she was annoyed with him, "That would be our room. Yours and mine. Our bath room. Now if you want a room of your own I'll put a wall there with no door between the rooms."

Daryl's face was redder than Aunt Amelia's when she talked about a "bit of fun" but he finally muttered, "Don't need no damn wall." He traced the outlines of the master bedroom. "You want to add a bay window here? Maybe make you a place there to sit and enjoy the view. We could put one in Sophia's room too."

He ignored the other two bedrooms that were sharing a bathroom and concentrated on a space that ran the width of the second floor, "What's going here?"

"That's going to be my studio. I've always wanted to have a place to draw and paint."

He nodded, "Sounds good. I want to talk to you about something. The house is going to be tore the hell up so I'm thinking that we should a new bunkhouse with its own kitchen a little further from the house. I've got a hand that is a good cook but he's getting a little old to be a cowboy. We have Oscar build that first so the hands will be fed. I want you and Sophia to live at Merle's house until the house is livable again. Rosita and Camilla can work for Merle while this house get redone."

"You want me live with Merle?" _I want to be with you._

"Sophia can take piano lessons this summer. I'll stay here when I have to and I'll be at Merle's as often as I can be. I'm thinking that Oscar and his crew can stay out here. We'll have a cook to feed the men working on the house and they can stay out here if they want to. Get more hours in. Get this house finished."

It did make sense. "How's Merle's going to take having us at his house?"

"It was Merle's idea. He travels around a lot. Says it would be good to have someone living in the house."

Carol excused herself and went upstairs. Sophia had fallen asleep with the lamp on and she turned it off. Sophia would like being close to the library and being able to take piano lessons.

She went downstairs to find Daryl still absorbed in the drawings. The plans for their home. Their conventional life together.

He looked up as she came into the room. _I can't love him anymore than I do right now. I am a full capacity. Might as well be honest._ "I'm never going to let my hair grow long. I'm going to wear pants when I want to. I want to travel and I want to spend time painting. Most people will think that I'm a terrible wife."

Daryl grinned, "I ain't most people."

"I know that. I'm not against a bit of fun though." She held out her hand and he put his hand in hers and they walked upstairs to her/their bedroom.

"You are going to marry me?" he asked.

Carol kissed him, "I'm not letting you get away again. This fall after the house is finished."

Daryl frowned, "You could you pregnant by then. Everyone will call our kid a bastard."

Carol opened the door to the bedroom, "Our kid will beat the hell out of them if they do. It'll be a Dixon, you know."

Later Carol stretched out beside a sleeping Daryl. It had been more than a bit of fun. Her body had surprised her tonight. It seemed to know what it wanted far better than her conscious mind knew. His hands and lips on her body had made her want more contact until he finally slid between her legs and then she found herself whimpering for release. She arched toward him and then her body let go with its own fireworks display. A few seconds later Daryl gave a final thrust and spilled his seed inside her.

He had been smug, "You had an orgasm."

Carol had never heard that word before. "I did have an orgasm. No pressure but I hope I have a lot more."

Daryl snickered, "I love it when you talk dirty. Let me rest a little and I'll see if I can make this a two orgasm night. Carol, I don't give a rat's ass if you cut your hair and wear pants. It's you I love."

 _I was wrong this evening when I thought my love for Daryl was at full capacity. I love him more now after we've been together. I'll love him more on our wedding day. More when we have a child or he walks Sophia down the aisle. Pretty much I'm going to love him more every day of our lives_.


	8. Last Will and Testament

Last Will and Testament

The next few weeks were busy on the ranch. The ranch house furniture was moved to an empty barn. Carol and Sophia moved to Merle's house. Oscar's crew began work on the new bunkhouse and after that was finished then they moved to the ranch house. It seemed to Daryl that everything and everyone was in the wrong place. The ranch house wasn't home anymore if Carol and Sophia weren't there. She had taken Songbird with her and she rode out almost every day to check on the work.

Daryl found all sorts of reasons to stay nights at Merle's house. His brother had caught the train to San Francisco and Daryl didn't like the idea of Carol and Sophia being alone in that big house. Daryl didn't trust Axel to stay sober either.

Carol was happy to find Daryl at Merle's house that Saturday evening. He had been busy on the ranch with a roundup but he had promised her that he would be here on Saturday. She knew he wouldn't be here until evening but she'd found herself looking for him since noon. He was here now and she hugged him close to her.

Daryl pushed her back gently, "I need to go get cleaned up." He was covered with trail dust and probably a lot more things that didn't bear mentioning.

He disappeared upstairs to his room. Carol waited downstairs because Sophia had there. It might be hypocritical but she still didn't want her daughter to know everything about her relationship with Daryl.

 _I'm not used to being lustful. I certainly never was with Ed. I want to go upstairs and be with Daryl right now._

Daryl came downstairs dressed in clean jeans and shirt wearing a pair of socks and carrying his "good" boots. He hugged Sophia, "What's this I hear that you have a piano?"

Sophia smiled "Uncle Merle bought it for his house and I get to use it. Miss James comes here twice a week to give me lessons. Come look at it." She dragged him toward the music room and Carol followed.

The new piano was set facing Merle's library. The two rooms were separated by French doors. Both rooms expensively furnished and Merle's recently purchased new piano was top of the line. It wasn't the sort of piano that you could purchase in Paradise or even Denver. He must have ordered that months ago from back east. _He bought it for Delcia_. _He built this house for Delcia._ _He really loves her._

Sophia ran her hands over the piano finish, "It's beautiful, isn't it? Miss James had to tune it but now it's perfect."

"Play something for us." Daryl sat down on the bench and Sophia scooted beside him. Sophia demonstrated the musical scales that she was practicing and Daryl was impressed, "You're going to be really good. You keep practicing and we'll get a piano for the ranch. Got a surprise for you right now. It's out in the barn."

Daryl had found a horse for Sophia. It looked awfully large to Carol but Axel had it saddled and ready when they got to the barn. Daryl hoisted Sophia into the saddle and he walked the horse around the yard so that Sophia could get used to it.

Sophia loved the horse and she had to be dragged away from it to eat dinner and then insisted on going back to the stables after dinner to pet it. It was later than usual before Sophia finished her bath and went to bed.

Carol went in search of Daryl after that. He wasn't upstairs in his room or in hers so she ventured downstairs. He was in the music room sitting at the piano. He turned as Carol came in, "Let's go outside on the patio."

He stood up and they kissed. Carol murmured in his ear when the kiss finished, "Let's go upstairs."

Daryl pushed her away gently, "Let's go outside."

 _There must be something wrong. Daryl knows why I want to go upstairs. Why doesn't he want to?_

Daryl opened the door to the patio, "It's cooled down outside."

 _Something's cooled down inside too._ She followed him outside. It was nice outside and they sat side by side on a bench Daryl gnawed on his thumbnail and Carol wondered what was wrong. He'd been in a good mood all evening until now.

He looked at her. "I'm going to do this right this time. I love you. I want to marry you." He slid off the bench onto his knees, "Carol, will you marry me?" He held up a glittering ring.

Carol hadn't thought about an engagement ring. It hadn't been important to her but looking at Daryl's excited face she realized that he wanted to give her one. Wanted everyone to know that they were planning to get married. She leaned toward him for a long kiss, "Yes, I will marry you."

The ring fit when Daryl gently prodded it on her finger. He kissed her and added, "I bought some champagne too. It's in the icebox."

"Let's save it for tomorrow evening. Andrea and Rick are coming for supper. We can drink it then. Let's go upstairs." Carol stood up.

Daryl sat back on his heels for a second and then stood up, "Don't think I better keep the lady waiting. You might want to take it easy on a cowboy who has been out on the range for five days and nights."

She opened the door and he followed her. They walked sedately through the house until they got to the stairs then both bolted up the stairs like they were twelve instead of thirty-two. Carol had started the race but Daryl passed her easily. He grabbed her as she finished the last step. "Hurry up. I ain't got all night."

She kissed him, "Yes, you do. All night."

Her ring was much admired by the ladies at church the next morning and Daryl was teased about being "a fast worker" on their engagement. The lawyer that had handled Jack Shepherd's estate had congratulated them both on their upcoming marriage. He shook hands with Daryl and took Carol's hand, "I'd like for you to stop by my office. I have some papers to show you. Nothing that changes anything, but I'd like for you to see them." She'd agreed to come in on Tuesday afternoon.

That evening Rick and Andrea came to supper. Carl was visiting his mother in Denver and Sophia soon became bored with the adults. They drank champagne and made silly toasts.

The mood changed when Rick mentioned Phillip Blake. "I was just going to talk to Daryl but I guess I'm being too old-fashioned. You ladies should know about this too."

"Blake is opening a general store and that's his right, but his money is behind Shumpert's new saloon and Martinez's new "hotel." Merle warned me about this before he left. Shumpert's saloon is busy day and night and public drunkenness is up. More fist fights, more incidents of violence in homes, and even men are starting to harass the women walking on the streets. Shumpert is letting men drink on credit and that means less money for their families."

Rick looked uncomfortable but when on, "Martinez's hotel is basically a whorehouse. I'm not saying that we didn't have some good hearted ladies that took money from men occasionally in exchange for sex. I knew about it but if it was consensual I let it go. It was women and never children. This is different. Some of the women staying at the hotel look young but they all have some sort of papers stating that they're eighteen. Some of the railroad workers are stopping here now for their days off. It's changing Paradise."

Andrea spoke up, "If those women have certain diseases then it will spread to the town's women. It isn't only the single men who go to those places. Honestly, there isn't a cure for syphilis now. Gonorrhea can be treated if the patient goes to a doctor but children born to infected mothers will be affected."

The discussion went on for more than an hour. Rick had met with Milton Mamet who seemed reluctant to take Phillip Blake on. Andrea has asked Dr. Greene to meet with her this week. Rick was hoping that Daryl could talk with other ranchers. He turned to Carol, "Talk to Miss James about this. She is both intelligent and sensible. Her brother is influential in their community. We can't do this by ourselves."

Delcia gave Sophia lessons on Wednesday and Friday mornings. Carol had been able to persuade her to stay for lunch last week. She enjoyed talking with Delcia who had a dry sense of humor. _She's perfect for Merle is so many ways and wrong in only one way. It isn't my business and I'll stay out of it._

Sophia was practicing scales on Tuesday afternoon and Axel volunteered to drive her to the lawyer's office. Carol suspected that Daryl had talked to Axel. The lawyer's office was just across the street from the newly opened hotel. Axel waited in the automobile as she went into the office.

A young woman smiled at her as Carol came through the door, "Mrs. Peletier? Mr. Akers is waiting for you." Carol just had time to reflect that she would be giving up that last name soon before she was ushered into an office filled with law books and a desk over flowing with papers.

Sam Akers stood up as she entered the room, "I apologize for making you come here. I should have brought this by Merle's house when I found out that you and Daryl were engaged. I'm moving my office several blocks from here."

"Axel brought me in Merle's automobile. What was it that you wanted me to see?" She was a little curious. It seemed as if she had signed a million documents since she came to Paradise.

Sam Akers sat back down and smiled at her. "I had been friends with Jack Shepherd for a long time. We both served in the Civil War and then came to New Mexico together. I was best man at his wedding and he was my best man at my wedding, but I must say he surprised me with his last will and testament. He was in his right mind until the moment he passed from this mortal coil. He knew what he wanted and it was for you to come to his ranch. It was peculiarly done but it is legal. He left this letter for you in the likely event that you would marry Daryl Dixon."

He stood up and handed Carol an envelope. "I'm going to call you by your first name. Carol, take this letter and follow me." He led her to an empty office, "I want you to read it and then come talk to me about its contents." He shut the door firmly behind him and Carol sat down in the chair and spread the pages out on the desk before her.

 _My Dear Carol,_

 _You may wonder why I would call you "My Dear Carol" when I've never met you. I feel as if I do know you. Daryl who I love as a son has loved you for a very long time. He hasn't said much about you but the little that he has told me has convinced me that you are very dear to him._

 _Merle has talked much more about you. He has told me a hundred stories about you and Daryl as children growing up. Merle loves his brother and your kindnesses toward Daryl never went unnoticed by Merle. He told me that Daryl came home late his first day of school because he walked you home. Merle was berating for being late to do his chores but Daryl stopped him, "Me and Carol started out with a whole herd of kids but when we came to a crossroads they all headed down one road and she would have to go on alone. I'll do my chores but I'm going to see her home safe." Merle said that Daryl got up even earlier to do his chores so that he could be at your gate in time to walk you to school._

Carol stopped to reflect on that. Daryl had told her that he took a shortcut home from her house. She'd been so glad for his company that she hadn't thought that he was going out of his way.

 _Merle told me that your aunt and uncle were welcoming to both Daryl and him. He said that you were the cutest thing ever with wild curls and big blue eyes. You didn't seem interested in any one but Daryl and that he flat out adored you._

 _I met the two of them when Merle asked me for a job. I had never made it a practice to hire cow hands without knowing something about them but there was something about the two of them that changed my mind. I have always been glad I did. My wife died less than a year after we were married and I never married again. I guess I needed two sons and they needed a father. It worked out that way._

 _Merle went off to make his fortune in gold and Daryl stayed with me on the ranch. I promoted him to foreman because even at a young age he knew what needed to be done and he worked hard to make sure it was done. I was proud of him._

 _I wanted him to marry and have children. Not live his life alone as I had. He's had opportunities and he never led any of the women on but I could see that he had never gotten over you._

 _Merle made his fortune and opened a business in town. He never wanted to live on the ranch and I left the ranch to Daryl in my will. I know you are protesting why I would take the ranch from Daryl and give it to you a stranger to me. You must be patient. This is my story to tell and it is fairly complicated._

 _Merle waited until Daryl turned thirty to talk to me. He was worried that Daryl would never marry. He said, "He's still in love with Carol Everdene and it is my fault that he lost her." Merle was so upset after losing their ranch in Oklahoma that he didn't realize that Daryl was grieving your rejection of his proposal. It was years before he knew that Daryl had asked you._

 _Merle had found out by accident that you were married and he told Daryl. It was then that Daryl told him that he had asked you and you had turned him down. I suspect that you loved him but wanted to go to college. Merle knew if he hadn't lost their ranch that you and Daryl would have ended up together._

 _Merle started searching for you then. He went back to Oklahoma and found out that your aunt had died. You had to leave college and take a job teaching school. Alone and away from your friends you married Ed Peletier. Merle tracked you down to Texas and since your family moved several times it took him a year to finally locate you._

 _He found you in a little town in east Texas. He also found out that your husband was abusive to you. I knew Merle well enough to know that I had to cool him down before he took matters in his hands. I sent him a telegraph telling him to stay away from Ed until I got there._

 _I sent Merle back to Paradise and found a room at a hotel in town. Ed was in debt and I was planning on giving him money to divorce you. Then his horse kicked him in his head and you were a free woman. I was at the funeral by the way. I saw you and I knew why Daryl had never been able to stop loving you. I paid off the worst of his debts and arranged for you to receive a small insurance settlement._

 _I wanted to send for Daryl but I am a careful man. I never wanted anyone to think that Ed's death was anything but the result of his own cruelty to his horse. Daryl showing up might cause people to wonder if maybe Ed's death wasn't an accident._

 _I went back to Paradise. Merle and I decided that we would wait for a few months before we did anything more. Merle made several trips to your town making sure that you and your daughter had the time to heal._

 _I was feeling unwell and Dr. Greene gave me bad news. I only had a few months left and Merle and I planned our strategy. Merle wanted Daryl to know that you were with him because you loved him and not because you needed to be rescued. We decided that I would leave the ranch to you. You and your daughter would come here and whatever happened between you and Daryl would be on equal terms._

 _We're betting that you will come here and that you and Daryl will end up together. The way it was always supposed to be because he loves you and I believe that you love him._

 _I changed my will because I want you and your adorable daughter to live on the ranch. As soon as I die, then all our plans will begin. The lawyers will search for my mysterious heir, Carol Everdene and then will find you in east Texas. You will come here and find Daryl who won't know that his new employer is you._

 _I hate missing that meeting. I'll be long gone by then but maybe part of me will be a silent onlooker when you come off the train and back into Daryl's life. I'll be at your wedding and the birth of your children. Maybe I'll be back to see Sophia get married and when the grandchildren visit at the ranch. It makes me smile to think of that house with children in it. The house and I have waited a long time for that._

 _Your present happiness is due almost entirely to Merle. He did it for Daryl but he also did it for you. He wants you to have a good life with Daryl. Merle has spent the last dozen years remaking himself into a good man._

 _I've had a good day and I have felt well enough to write this letter. I've changed my will because while you are not my long lost cousin? I still chose you to inherit the ranch. So, don't feel guilty about your inheritance. The ranch was mine to give and I give it to you._

 _Your loving almost cousin,_

 _Jack Shepherd._

Carol read most of the letter in tears. Now she knew why Merle had been watching from the train station that day. She remembered the man who had sat at the back of the church at Ed's funeral. It explained why Ed's debts were not as bad as she had thought and that little insurance money had kept her and Sophia afloat until enough time had passed so that Ed's death didn't raise any questions.

She promised herself one thing. She would find some way to help Merle win Delcia if that was possible. Her present happiness was due to the interference of Merle and Jack Shepherd. There was nothing she could do for Jack but Merle? He could use some help.

AN

 **Remember when I told you that Merle was the ultimate good guy.**

 **Hope you liked this chapter. Jack Shepherd was a character in my favorite television show,** _ **Lost**_ **.**

 **How did you like the chapter**.


	9. The Year

The Year

Carol read and reread Jack Shepherd's letter that night. She thought about Merle and Jack Shepherd deciding to find her and then their careful plans to change her from penniless widow to a semi-wealthy ranch owner. It all made sense now. She had never quite believed that a cousin she had no knowledge of would make her his heir. Carol had uprooted herself and Sophia and traveled here thinking that at least they had a chance to start over at a new place.

The letter reminded her of how miserable her life had been and how happy she was now. Carol resolved to talk to Merle. Should the two of them tell Daryl? There was no way that Daryl had been involved with this. The shock on his face that day at the railroad station was proof of that. Besides, Daryl would have taken the first train to Texas if he had known.

Merle had waited a year. A year in which she and Sophia had struggled financially. The insurance money only went so far and it seemed that Ed owed money to almost everyone in town. Still, it was a wise decision to wait a year and it was the best thing for her and Sophia.

They learned how to live without Ed's oppressive shadow blotting out every iota of joy in their lives. Carol found out that she wasn't the helpless victim anymore. She found a part time job working as a bookkeeper in a local business and that led to a full-time job working as a bookkeeper in the local hospital.

They found a small house closer to town. The rent was cheap enough and there was a garden plot in the back and that summer they grew most of their food. Sophia began to make friends at school and their new neighborhood. The two of them had always been close but some of that had been their instinct to cling to each other because of the constant threat of an Ed eruption. Now Carol had her job and Sophia had friends, but if anything they were closer than ever.

They worked together in the vegetable garden and they kept their yard and the house spotless. Talking as they worked became so much easier when they could talk freely and laughing wouldn't earn Carol a slap. Freedom was eating breakfast at the end of the day if they wanted to or visiting with friends. They put up a tree and went to church on Christmas Eve. Ed hated Christmas so they celebrated the hell out of it with him gone.

Their house was filled with light and color. Sophia's friends liked to stay the night. They would gather in the kitchen and help Carol bake cookies. Then Carol would take a book and go read while the girls talked and giggled. Still, Carol wore her drabbest clothes to work and made sure that she avoided eye contact with men. She didn't want to attract their interest. She had no intention of marrying again. Her plans didn't include being a Mrs. Anybody or staying in this town.

Carol saved every penny that she could. There was a little money from the insurance left and with that and what little she could squeeze out of her salary she put in the bank. Not just to have money as good as that felt. Her plan was to save enough to get out of Texas. Especially east Texas which was hotter than the hubs of hell all summer and then you had hurricane season.

California sounded nice. Palm trees and orange groves. It sounded better than east Texas with its heat and humidity. It sounded like a place that you could start over and that is what Carol intended to do. So when the lawyer came to her house to tell her that she had inherited a ranch in New Mexico? Carol figured that if it all fell apart she was closer to California.

She and Sophia boarded the train for Paradise with few expectations. It had been a long time since Carol had a happy surprise but looking down the train steps to meet Daryl Dixon's blue eyes had stunned her into a sort of stupor. The three of them riding the wagon toward their home was like some daydream come true.

It worked out the way it was always supposed to be.

I _needed that year. Needed time on my own before I met Daryl again. I was a broken woman. He would have tried to fix me and I would have let him. It worked out the way it should have. I found out that I was stronger than I thought I was. The woman who got off the train in Paradise wasn't looking for a man to fix her._ _I was hoping to build a life in New Mexico. It did work out the way it was supposed to because Daryl was standing at the bottom of the steps._

Carol was still determined to thank Merle for his part in changing her life. He and Jack had gone to a great deal of trouble to bring her here as a woman of means. She didn't need Daryl to rescue her. Those two bachelors must have had a romantic streak a mile wide to believe that she and Daryl would wind up together. A dozen years had passed. They were two different people. It could have gone all wrong but they had accomplished what they wanted. Now somehow Carol had to do the same for Merle. He was in love with Delcia and no one else would do. Carol wasn't going to wait around until fate brought them together. Jack and Merle hadn't waited on fate. She wouldn't either.

TWD

Delcia came on Wednesday and Friday to teach Sophia. Axel and Sophia would take the automobile to pick her up and after the lesson the lesson Delcia would have lunch with them. Carol liked Delcia. She was more light hearted than she first appeared and Carol could see why Merle was drawn to her. Delcia could tell a story that could make you laugh and cry. She like Merle had a way with words.

Merle came home Friday morning. He had caught a ride to the house from the station. He looked tired and a little dusty from his trip. Carol was out in the yard working on her latest project, a painting of Merle's new house. They exchanged polite greetings and Merle looked at the house, "It's good to be home. Where's Sophia?"

Carol frowned at him, "You don't have to give her a present every time you see her."

Merle grinned at her, "You mind your own damn business. I'm a grown ass man and if I want to give her a present I will. Where is she?"

"She and Axel went to pick up Miss Delcia. It's piano lesson day. If you want I can have it rescheduled. You just got back and all." She smiled sweetly at him. _I won this round. His eyes lit up when he found out that Delcia is coming here._

"No need to do that. I'm going upstairs to get cleaned up. The music lesson won't bother me at all. Don't cancel it." Merle was quick to shut that down.

"Delcia usually eats lunch here after the lesson, but we can cancel that today." _I am so terrible._

"Don't do that. Just tell Alma to make extra because I'm starved. I'll just go on up now. Don't change anything on my account. I can't wait to hear Sophia play." Merle picked up his bulging suitcase and leaped up the stairs like a teenager.

Carol smiled to herself. _Merle in love is both endearing and clueless._

Alma was happy to hear that Merle was back but she gave Carol the strong impression that she was neither wanted or needed in the kitchen. Carol went outside to continue working on her painting. She had barely picked up her brush when Axel arrived with Sophia and Delcia.

They exchanged greetings and went on inside. Carol gathered up her painting supplies and left them in a supply cabinet in the stable/garage. The painting had been going well but with Merle back and Delcia in the house she'd lost her focus. She'd just go check on the lesson.

Sophia was staring at Delcia's long slender fingers on the piano keys. Delcia was smiling at Sophia and suddenly Carol wanted to paint that scene. That image had life to it and she ran upstairs and grabbed her sketch pad and a pencil. Downstairs she took a seat in the hall and began to draw. Carol liked to sketch the image before she began a painting. She took notes in her mind to what she wanted the final product to be.

Delcia and Sophia finished their lesson before she was finished but she put the sketch pad away. Delcia agreed to stay for lunch and they headed toward the dining room. Merle was sitting there reading a newspaper. He stood up when they came into the room.

Sophia rushed to hug him, "You're back, Uncle Merle."

He hugged her back, "I'm back." He looked at her sternly, "Have you been a good girl since I've been gone?"

Sophia made a seesawing motion with her hand, "How good is good?"

Merle laughed, "Good enough for me. Here's your reward for being good enough." He motioned toward a wooden box on the table.

Sophia opened it and gasped, "A microscope. Oh, my goodness. Look Mom, a real microscope."

Merle brought the instrument out and put it on the table. "It's heavy. I'll carry it upstairs after lunch."

Carol shook her head at Merle, "You are being too generous."

Lunch was slightly delayed so that Sophia and Merle could examine all sorts of things under the microscope. Carol and Delcia sat at the table and talked. Carol noticed that Delcia's eyes strayed toward Merle occasionally. That was good to see. Carol was new to the matchmaking business and she needed all the help she could get.

As they were finishing lunch Carol said casually, "Why don't we all go out to the ranch and see how the work on the ranch house is going. We can take the automobile and there will be plenty of room."

Merle jumped in, "Let's go."

Delcia shook her head, "I should be getting back home. Gabriel will be wondering where I am."

"Let's go get Gabriel and take him with us." Merle stood up, "Some of the men working on the house go to your church. They might enjoy showing him their handiwork." He gave Delcia his most innocent look but considering that it was Merle? It looked more like a challenge.

Delcia was looking mulish and Carol jumped in the conversation. "Merle, go get Gabriel and I'll find Delcia some jeans to wear. She's just a little taller than I am and I bought a pair that was too long. Sophia, go change your clothes. Come on, Delcia. Let's go upstairs."

Merle was already out the door before Delcia stood up. She looked uncertain and reluctant but she did follow Carol upstairs and the jeans did fit. The elegant woman disappeared in jeans and a shirt and Carol wondered if Delcia's clothes were like her drab clothes in Texas. That perhaps Delcia liked to keep people at a distance. She looked prettier and more approachable in jeans.

Merle whirled back in with Gabriel who had been working on as he put it "A sermon that didn't want to be preached." No arm-twisting was involved in his decision to take a break. Merle had gathered up Carl on the way too. Rick had taken his boy to the barber shop for a haircut and they were on their way home when Merle drove back with Gabriel.

Alma had fixed a picnic basket with drinks and pastries. She gave Merle a stern look as she handed it over, "I want the basket brought back now. How many guests will we have for dinner?"

Merle took the basket meekly, "Yes ma'am, I'll bring it back. Count on all of us for dinner and maybe a couple of more. I asked the sheriff to bring the doctor too." He looked around the crowd, "I'm back. I want a celebration."

He got the reaction he wanted. Everyone laughed including Alma. Even Delcia smiled.

Merle and Gabriel sat in the front and Carol and Delcia sat in the back with the children. Soon they were at the ranch. Merle and Gabriel talked with Oscar while Carol showed Delcia the house plans and they walked around the building site.

"It's going to be a beautiful house." Delcia picked he way carefully around stacks of lumber and building supplies.

"It's not as elegant as Merle's house in town but it has a wonderful view of the mountains. I want it to fit in with landscape. Let's go upstairs. I want to show you my stuio."

The addition had the subfloor down and the walls consisted of studs. Delcia leaned out the window area, "The light will be marvelous for painting. It will be worth all the trouble when its finished. So the wedding will be here?"

Carol nodded, "We're having it here and inviting everyone who worked on it to the wedding. A barbecue afterwards. It's not going to be all fancy. It's a celebration." She and Daryl had already decided that Gabriel would marry them and if some people did not want to come because there would be Mexicans and Negroes at the wedding? It was their loss. These men and their families were welcome on Caryl ranch and always would be.

Oscar corralled Carol to talk over how the building was going and Delcia moved toward her brother and Merle. They were sitting in the shade of some large trees and talking. They found her a seat and Merle poured her a glass of lemonade.

"How do you like the house?" Merle handed her a pastry, "Try these. Alma has the soul of a heartless dictator but her hands can make sinfully good eclairs."

Gabriel laughed, "I thought they were heavenly good."

Delcia bit into the éclair, "Whatever you pay her is not enough."

Gabriel stood up, "I need to go talk to one of the workers. Excuse me for just a moment." He scurried off to the side and it was just the two of them.

"How was your trip?" Delcia wanted to fill the silence up with something polite and impersonal. Merle was not always polite and almost never impersonal.

He glanced at her, "Love the jeans. You look about sixteen." He wiped his mouth with a napkin, "I was in San Francisco. Lovely city. You should go sometime."

She decided to ignore the personal remark. It was Merle. She already knew he liked her in jeans from his appreciate looks at her ass. Time to change the subject. "How do you like the house?"

Merle stood up, "Let's walk to the river. I've been sitting on a train for two days." He held his hand out to help her up and she took it.

Delcia had missed Merle. She wasn't going to tell him that she had but today she had felt a jolt of joy seeing him in the house. Life was never dull with Merle around. He made her feel sixteen.

Sophia and Carl went with them. They weren't allowed to go to the river without an adult and Delcia figured that would be her. Merle challenged Carl and Sophia to a stone skipping contest which he promptly won. He crowed about it so disgracefully that Delcia was compelled to challenge him. He laughed when she beat him and threated to throw her in the water in retaliation.

Delcia decided at that point she was having too good a time, "Keep practicing Merle. I'm going back to the house."

Merle picked up Carl, "Can I throw this scamp in the river?"

In the end she stayed longer at the river. The children splashed in the water until they were soaked. Merle sneaking in to add to the confusion. Delcia meant to stay on the rock and watch but the water looked too inviting and for a few minutes she was sixteen again.

She and Merle went back to the rock to dry off and to in Merle's words, "Look respectable." Sophia and Carl had settled on another rock content to sit and watch the river flow by.

Merle nudged her, "Can you wear jeans all the time? Loosens your ass up."

"My ass is none of your concern, Merle. Do you think there are any eclairs left?" It was time to distract herself and Merle from thoughts of what could not be. Delcia stood up.

"The house and Alma's baking. Does that sweeten the deal? Think about it. Alma bakes every damn day, pies, cakes, cookies. You name it and she can bake it." Merle stood up.

"I would be bigger than the house if I ate like that every day." Delcia called to the children, "Let's go. Put your shoes on."

Merle stood beside her, "More to love, that's all I've got to say about that."

Daryl rode in as they got back to the shade tree. Merle grabbed two eclairs from the basket and gave one to Delcia. Carol had left the site and was headed toward Daryl. Merle watched them, "Can't tell you how happy I am to see them together. I've done terrible things in my life and I'm sorry for most of them but anything that I did that let that happen? I would do it again in a heartbeat."

Delcia watched as Daryl and Carol hugged and exchanged a quick but unchaste kiss. Sophia running up to hug Daryl. _What did Merle have to do to make that happen?_

AN

I wanted to fill in that year after Ed went to his final destination and Carol went to New Mexico. Next chapter Carol is going to have that talk with Merle. I know that this story is not just a Caryl story but the muse will get back to that soon enough.


	10. The Talk

The Talk

It was the next Wednesday before Carol had an opportunity to talk with Merle. Daryl spent the weekend in town and then Merle went to Denver on Monday to buy some materials for the ranch house. He got back this morning and he'd gone out on the veranda going over some papers while he listened to Sophia's piano lesson. Delcia hadn't stayed for lunch and he'd gone to his store for the rest of the day. He came home for dinner and then went back to the veranda.

Carol decided that this was a good time to talk. Sophia was occupied upstairs with a book and Daryl wasn't coming back until Friday. She wanted to thank Merle and to let him know that she would always be grateful for what he and Jack had done for her and Sophia.

There was a nice breeze outside and she stopped to enjoy the sight of a New Mexico summer. The air always cooled down in the evening and even if there were occasional thunderstorms the humidity was never like it was in east Texas.

Merle was sitting back comfortably in his chair. No book or papers in sight. It was time. She settled herself into a chair beside his. The evening sun was slowly sliding down and she knew it would be another spectacular sunset and she wanted to paint that too. She wanted to paint every view or every person she saw. It was all so beautiful and may be in some way it would allow her to capture this joyful time. That by putting it on canvas with paint she'd be able to hold onto the memories of her first summer in New Mexico.

Merle glanced at her and then went back to watching the sunset, "There is a reason why this place is called Paradise."

She cleared her throat, "Jack left a letter for me. I read it last week at the lawyer's office. Thank you for everything that you did. You've been the instrument of my present happiness and I will always appreciate your thoughtfulness and kindness."

He didn't turn to look at her, "Don't tell Daryl. He'd hate me if he found out that you were there alone for a year. I'm sorry that we waited so long. We robbed you and Daryl time together."

"I won't tell Daryl unless you agree to it. I needed that time to stand on my own two feet and find who I am if I'm not Ed's punching bag. You were right. If I suddenly left after Ed was killed it would have looked all wrong. I'm looking forward to all the years that we will have together." Carol wanted him to know that she understood. It was the way it was meant to be.

Merle finally looked at her. "I forget sometimes how smart you really are. You figured it out, didn't you?"

Carol nodded, "I think I probably have but we don't have to ever speak about it. I know you are a good man. I know how Ed was always going to be. I trust you."

"This is only between you and me. I want to tell someone, someone who would understand and not judge me. Are you ready to hear it? I guess it's your story too

She stared into the sun and let the tears fall, then blinked them away, and turned back to Merle. "I'm ready."

"I found you and Sophia in east Texas. Ed had a job in a local bank and your home was outside of town. Just a little place. A house in need of repair and a barn. Some chickens and a cow. Not much considering that Ed made a good living at the bank."

I found a hotel in a nearby town and began to read the story of the Peletier family. Ed's an abusive drunk and you and Sophia are barely surviving. The word on the street is that Ed keeps you at the house so that you can't talk to anyone. Sophia is a shadow child. Misses a lot of school. I figured she stayed home when Ed hurt you worse than usual. I would do that when my father hurt my mother."

Merle was a good storyteller and his words brought it all back. The pain and mostly the fear that Ed would kill her and Sophia would be next. Her mind didn't work right in those days. She hated Ed, wanted him to die, but was unable to formulate a plan to get out. re

Merle looked around to see if there was anyone close to them. "I decided that I would go out there to your place and take you out right then. I hired a horse and wagon. Changed into farm clothes and drove in from the bigger town. The town that had a railroad stop. Had three tickets to Dallas on the noon train. My plan was to take you to the train. Get you to Dallas and then we would stay there until you were ready to go to New Mexico or wherever you wanted to go. I hoped it would be New Mexico."

"I had to do it that way. I couldn't go to the sheriff. The law would see you as Ed's property and I would be arrested as a kidnapper."

Carol nodded, "I don't know if I would have had the courage to go."

"You would have because you knew me. Knew that you could trust me." Merle shifted in his seat. "I hid the horse and wagon in a clump of trees away from your house and I moved to the barn before it was daylight. Ed would go to work and I'd have plenty of time to get you packed and at the railroad station by noon."

Carol took up the story. "Ed had come home so drunk the night before that he passed without touching me. I tried to get him awake the next morning but he wouldn't get up. Then when he did get up he was angry because he was going to be late for work. He began screaming at Sme until he worked up enough steam to start hitting. Sophia knew to hide. He dragged me out on the porch and added some kicks to my back. He left me there but warned that he'd have more time teach me a lesson that evening."

Merle closed his eyes, "I could hear you screaming and him cursing and it brought back the shit that my house was. Ed and my father were the same. I was in the barn and I knew he would have to come out there to get his horse so I slipped back into a little room. I figured he would saddle his horse and be on his way.

Carol said, "He left the barn door open and Sophia was there to help me in. We were busy for a while. She washed my face and helped me clean myself up. I didn't notice that the barn door was still open until I went out there to clean the stalls. Ed always checked the stalls to see if I had mucked them out when he came home if he wasn't too drunk."

Merle was rubbing his hands along the tops of his thighs. Carol had noticed that he did that when he was upset like when Daryl had broken his arm back in Oklahoma. Aunt Amelia had commented on it.

"I could hear him inside the barn still cussing and swearing to teach you a lesson. I told myself to keep my mouth shut. He'd be gone in a few minutes and then I could go get you and the girl. He was whipping the horse and I wanted to take the whip to Ed but I stayed where I was. Confronting the abuser is not how this works. Something fell on the shelf behind me and Ed stopped beating the horse. I knew he was going to check it out."

He wiped the sweat from his face and Carol knew he was in that barn now. Waiting for Ed to find him. "He opened the door and he had a pitchfork in his hand. He stared at me for a second and then he stabbed the pitchfork in my direction. He hit my left arm and it burned like a son of a bitch but he pulled it back quick. I had a shovel in my hand then and I used it to push him back enough to get out of that room." He wiped the sweat again and Carol saw that his hands were trembling.

"Ed wasn't backing down. I saw the rage on his face and knew he meant to kill me there. He stabbed at me again and I swung the shovel hard enough to move the pitchfork away from hitting my chest. It clipped the right arm though and I wasn't going to be able to hold him off. He had me backed up away from the door. He grinned at me and stabbed again and I pivoted to my right and brought the shovel up against his head. He fell and hit his head on an old anvil. He went down like a sack of potatoes. I thought he was just knocked out but he was dead. I killed him, Carol."

"I was bleeding and he was dead. I was in his barn and every bit of my plan was blown the hell up. I tried to make it look like the horse had did it. I hated that but if people thought that Ed was murdered. Might think it was you. Now you know everything. I did it to save my own ass. I didn't go there to kill him. Just to take you and Sophia away."

It was Carol's turn to talk again, "I found Ed when I got to the barn. Sophia was with me and I made her go back to the house. The horse had been whipped unmercifully. I cleaned up the blood on the anvil and dragged Ed closer to the front of the barn. Then Sophia and I walked into town to talk to the sheriff. He didn't take too long to declare Ed dead by his own cruelty. I sold the horse with a clear conscience even though I was advised to have him put down. You know the rest of my story."

"How did you know it was me? Do you believe me?" Merle asked.

"Jack was at Ed's funeral. His letter said that you had tracked us down and then Jack insists on going to the funeral. Ed was buried in two days but Jack was there. None of that made sense unless you had contacted him when Ed got killed. I knew somebody had killed Ed. I didn't know who but wanted to make sure that no one thought I had done it. I didn't connect all the dots until I got the letter. I believe you but I think this should just stay between us. I don't want anyone to find out. I know that you didn't go to Texas to kill Ed. I believe you, but let's not share this with anyone else."

Carol did believe him, but some secrets are better off never being revealed. Sophia never needed to know that Merle had killed Ed accidentally. Merle didn't want Daryl to know or he would have told him already. There was just one thing that she didn't understand. "Why did you say that confronting the abuser is not how this works? Have you rescued other women before?"

"Daryl and I grew up with an abuser. You've seen his back and I have my share of scars. It's a great big world and its filled with assholes like Ed. Daryl and I both have gone on runs and taken women out of the home if they'll go. Sometimes they stay with the man and have us take the children. You'd be surprised at how many people in Paradise have adopted children or how many women around here have second husbands without divorcing their first."

Carol guessed, "Rosita's mother. Tara and Denice. Alma"

Merle grinned, "I don't tell everything I know. I get a telegraph from some of my associates and I take a business trip. Daryl's been so busy with the ranch and you that he hasn't been going with me. We just do the easy part. We accompany the wife or the children to the home. The associates are the ones that get them ready to go."

Carol sat back in her seat and thought it through, "So you are like the Underground Railroad only instead of moving slaves to freedom you're taking women and children to a safer place. It sounds dangerous." _Daryl could get killed out there trying to help._

Merle shrugged, "Sometimes but we're Dixons. We're tough. Like I said before we don't usually confront anybody. We blend into the background and move them as far away as we can. Some of them go back but not very many. We don't use our own names any more. Mostly now it's about the financing."

"Thank you for what you did for me and for the others. I wouldn't be alive right now if you hadn't come after me. I owe you big time." It was starting to get dark outside. Time to go upstairs and think about everything that had been said.

"You're very welcome. You don't owe me nothing. Watching Daryl with you and Sophia is enough for me."

Carol stood up, "It's going to work out between you and Delcia. I've got your back."

"Is there anything you haven't figured out?" Merle sounded a little defeated. "This isn't like you and Daryl. He's loved you since he was ten years old. Maybe you loved him that long. There's a mountain and an ocean between me and Delcia and she won't even try."

Carol looked at the house that Merle had built for Delcia. "Do you really want to live with what you'd have to put up with if you marry a Negro woman?"

"I want to live with Delcia. Sure we're going to get shit on from time to time. She'd get shit on any way because she is a Negro. I can handle it. I'm rich enough to insulate us from the worst of it. Would you marry Daryl If he were black?"

Carol looked up at the evening star. Daryl might be out on the ranch somewhere looking at it. "I'd marry him if he was purple with green stripes. We need to shake Delcia up a little. You're good at that. Think something up."

She went upstairs to check on Sophia. Daryl was finishing the last of the branding this week. He had promised to stay here at night from now on until the house was finished. She could handle the day without him but the evenings and nights were lonely. Merle must be the loneliest man on the planet without Delcia. Merle was Daryl's brother and that made him her brother. "I got your back, Merle. Come up with a plan."

AN

Merle is a big teddy bear. I like him that way.

Next chapter we'll learn Merle's plan.

I don't like writing about Carol's suffering at Ed's hands. I've only put it in a couple of stories. It's in this one because it needs to be. Merle in the television version had never killed anyone until the ZA. This version doesn't take it lightly at all.

Did you guess that it was Merle all along?


	11. Work in Progress

Work in Progress

Daryl was glad that Diablo knew the way to Merle's house because his own mind was preoccupied with thoughts about Carol. She had come back into his life so abruptly, literally moving into his home without there being time to adjust to the change. He had left the ranch house that morning to meet a Mrs. Peletier. He'd been nervous about meeting Mrs. Peletier but he had enough money to buy the ranch from her. He loved this place but he could relocate to the other ranch if he had to.

Then he found Carol Everdene at the train station with her little girl Sophia. It had been a little awkward at first but underneath the shock there had been joy. Joy at seeing her again. Joy that she was actually going to live here and that he could see her every day. Joy that there might be a chance to rekindle his burnt out hopes for a future with her.

Everything happened so fast after that. Carol sold him half of the ranch and they began to make decisions that would bind them together forever. His long burnt out dreams of a life with Carol rose out of the ashes and became reality. Daryl was almost afraid to believe that Carol loved him and that she wouldn't disappear as quickly as she appeared. The train that brought her could take her away _. I don't deserve her. I walked off and left her when she didn't marry me. She was left alone when her aunt died and I should have been there. If I'd been there she wouldn't have married Ed. Every blow that she took from that asshole is my fault._

 _I love her but I don't know what I'm doing half the time. I've never lived with a woman before. Never slept in the same bed with anyone before. When Carol has those nightmares? I don't know how to comfort her. When she gets excited about the work to the ranch house? I'm just pissed that she had to do it right now. Now she's living in Merle's house and that pisses me off because she isn't at the ranch. I ain't good at this, but I can't lose her again._

Daryl had gotten back to the ranch late last night. The ranch house was a work in progress and there wasn't enough progress to actually sleep there. He had a bed in the newly finished bunkhouse but he found it more difficult to sleep in a room with ten other men than he had when he was twenty _. I was just getting used to sharing a bed and now I don't sleep good if she isn't there._

Daryl started walking the last mile. Diablo needed to cool down and he could use some time to think about this morning. It had been a busy day and it wasn't noon yet but Red, the bunkhouse cook had sat down with him at breakfast. Red sipped at his coffee and gave Daryl a stern look, "Take some advice from a man old enough to be your father. It's time to pick a foreman for this ranch that ain't you. Time for you to stop working yourself to death and go spend some time with your woman and little girl."

Daryl snorted, "Mind your own damn business."

Red shook his head, "Daryl, you know a lot about running a ranch but you don't know shit about women. Miss Carol is a lady through and through. She adores your sorry ass and you act like that isn't the damn biggest deal in your world. I had that one time. A woman who loved me but I had to keep running off to be a cowboy. Big mistake. There's all kinda way to run off from someone. You pick someone to be your foreman and go spend some time with your family. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it."

Daryl had slammed out of the bunkhouse dining room furious with Red. Mad at Carol. _She ought to be here instead of running off to town to paint pictures and live in Merle's fine house_.

He walked toward the ranch house. Oscar and his boy were inspecting a pile of supplies. Oscar nodded at him, "The new windows came in yesterday. We're going to start putting them in today. Come on, let's walk through the house."

Daryl opened his mouth to say that he was too busy but the image of Red's sad face as he told him that there were all kinda ways to run off from someone came to him, "I have some time."

He'd been through the house several times with Carol but he'd always been tired or resentful that he had to parade through the ruins of his home. _I did try to sound enthusiastic. I really did._

Oscar started the tour in the basement. It had only been a small space before but it had been expanded to be the foundation for the entire house. Daryl had to admit that made sense. Now there was plenty of room for storage and the house was on surer footing now.

He was a little less interested in the new kitchen and dining room but he had to admit that the old kitchen needed replaced. Oscar had carved out two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a sitting room for the cook and maids.

The ground floor also included a library/office area, a large open area with a fireplace, and another bedroom and bath. It seemed larger and more open than before. "We're doing the floors last. Quarter sawn oak for most of the house but Miss Carol wants tile in the kitchen, bathrooms, and foyer. Plaster on the walls with chair rails." Oscar gestured toward the stairs. "We're redoing those too."

Daryl decided to more to the bottom line. "How long is it going to take?" He wanted Carol and Sophia home even if home looked like a different place.

Oscar grinned, "The answer is it is going to be as long as it takes to get it right. My crew is working twelve hour days. Six days a week. I'm planning to turn it over to you at the end of August or early in September."

 _Two more months. Sixty days and nights._

"It will be worth it. This house will be standing when both of us are in the ground. Miss Carol is what I call a long-range planner. She wants a house that your children and grandchildren will live in. Jack Shepherd must be smiling in heaven looking at what we're building here." Oscar started up the stairs.

Daryl couldn't resist, "Jack Shepherd must be turning in his grave right now. He loved the old house _." I loved the old house too._

Oscar waited at the top of the stairs, "You know last summer Jack called me out here. He wanted to remodel this place. Told me that he thought you would be getting married soon and it needed to be spruced up. We sat down and made up some plans. Then he found out he was sick and he came into town to see me. He told me to keep the plans and maybe your wife would look them over. Funny how that worked out. Jack's plans and what Miss Carol wanted were a lot alike. Jack ain't turning in his grave. He is dancing in heaven on golden streets."

 _Why would Jack think I was going to get married?_ Daryl admired the view from Carol's studio and Oscar headed for the master bedroom. It was ready to be plastered and Daryl peeked in the bath. "There's a shower in here right?"

"A shower and a bathtub."

Daryl walked around the room and looked out the empty window frames. "Lots of light." The closets looked huge. _Women like more stuff than men._ There was a door on the other side of the room and he opened it. "What's this room? Sophia's is across the hall."

Oscar snorted, "Miss Carol is a long-range planner. That's a nursery."

Daryl could feel himself turn red as fire with embarrassment, "Don't count chickens before they're hatched." _Stupid thing to say._

Oscar laughed at him, "God may bless you with babies, you know."

Daryl went into the room. _Not real big but babies didn't take up too much room. Carol'll leave the door open between the rooms so she can hear the baby if it cries._ Suddenly and to add to his embarrassment tears were in his eyes. _Bawling like a damn kid over a baby that may never happen._ He wiped the tears from his face but more were threatening to fall.

Oscar patted his shoulder, "Jack's dancing in heaven because he wanted this for you. Miss Carol and a fine house. Miss Carol would be enough for any man. You're getting a fine house and if it is in God's will children. Count your blessings. Give God the praise."

Daryl had never been on speaking terms with the Almighty but he had to admit that some benevolent force had given him a second chance with Carol. "You're right. Carol is enough for any man. Now you get busy and get this house finished. She won't marry me until we can move in together."

Oscar laughed, "We're doing our best. You bringing Miss Carol out today?"

"Tomorrow. I'll see you then." Daryl walked through the house again by himself. It was going to be a fine house. A house fit for a queen and wasn't Carol his queen? He knew she would ask how the house was progressing and he wanted to be able to give her evidence that their home was coming along as it should.

He rode Diablo to see how the fence mending was going. Felipe Ramos was in charge and Daryl talked to him a few minutes and then to all the men, "Felipe is going to be in charge of this ranch when I'm not here. I expect you to follow his orders the way you would mine." Felipe was a Mexican and some of the men might be pissed that Daryl hadn't picked a white man to be his foreman especially after making Cesar the foreman of the other ranch. He'd picked Felipe because he was the best man for the job. Felipe had noticed that the fence is this section was drooping. Not down yet. Felipe was a long range planner. He'd be a good foreman.

He'd taken Red's advice and hired a foreman for the ranch. He wasn't going to spend this summer pouting about Carol being in town or the ranch house being torn asunder. Daryl Dixon was going to spend this summer with Carol. Start spending more time with Sophia.

Daryl walked up the long driveway to Merle's house. He took off the saddle and led the horse into his own stall. As much as he wanted to go find Carol he knew he had to take care of Diablo first. He gave the horse some water but not too much. Carol appeared in paint spattered clothes with two sponges and a bucket of water. Daryl decided that the horse wouldn't up and die on him if he took enough time to give Carol a proper kiss which turned into an improper one fairly soon.

Carol pushed him away, "I'm glad to see you too, but let's cool down this horse."

They worked side by side sponging down the horse and then giving him more water and some hay. "I hired Felipe Ramos today to be the foreman of Caryl ranch. Is that okay with you?"

Carol nudged him with her hip, "The ranch is your call. You know that, but why now?"

"The new house is gonna need all kind of shit. You ought to be picking out what you want and you can't get everything here in town. You and me will need to go to Denver or Sante Fe to get it. We'll need new furniture too. Might have to go to San Francisco to get what you want. Might as well do this thing right."

Carol gave him the side eye, "Did you fall off of Diablo and hit your head? I am hearing this right. You are volunteering to leave Paradise to buy things for the house?"

Daryl smirked at her, "I am volunteering to go with you to nice hotels. Since we're living in sin here in Paradise we might as well take advantage of forbidden fruit in San Francisco and Denver."

The nudge this time had a little more force behind it. "Living in sin? You keep that kind of talk up and I'll make you wait until we get married."

He nudged her back more gently than she had him, "I don't think you'll make me wait. I think that you would come crawling into my bed at night if I didn't come to you."

She laughed, "Probably. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong when I'm with you. I'm not doing anything that I don't want to do. My body, my choice."

Daryl kissed her again, "Let's go up in the hayloft right now." Just thinking about it made his dick as hard as iron.

She pushed him away, "Whoa, cowboy. Axel is eating lunch in the house. He'll be back in here any minute. You go take a shower. We'll have lunch and then you can take a nap. You look like you're ready to fall down. We've got guests for dinner and Alma is going to let me help her make the dessert." She kissed him again, "And I'll make it up to you tonight."

 _Her body, her choice. Nice to know that he came in second to making desserts with Alma._

Daryl managed to stay awake through the shower and lunch. Then he went upstairs and took a long nap. He wanted to be rested when Carol made things up with him tonight.

The dinner guests were the usual suspects. Gabriel and his sister Delcia. Rick and Andrea. Milton and Amy. Glenn Rhee and Maggie Green. Eugene Porter and Merle. Sophia and Carl. Carol dressed in a pretty blue dress and her hair combed out from its usual riot of curls was serving as hostess. Daryl had found his evening outfit on his bed when he came back from the shower. It wasn't too bad. The shirt had been tailored to fit him and there was a pair of clean blue jeans to wear with it. He was good to go.

Daryl wasn't used to this kind of shindig but he did know everyone. Apparently no one said anything interesting at these deals and he concentrated on his food and watching Carol. She was sitting beside Eugene Porter who was telling her more than she would ever want to know about electricity.

Things didn't get interesting until after the Carol and Alma dessert. Elaborate and frothy. Tasted good but he would still have rather had that trip up the hayloft.

Merle smiled at the group. "I've got a surprise."

Most people looked pleased but he noticed that Delcia looked a little concerned. She must know Merle well enough to know that his surprises could be really good or really terrible.

Merle went on, "I'm going to take all of you to the Grand Canyon in two weeks. The arrangements are all made and all you have to do is get on board the train."

Daryl's first thought was that this was one of Merle's really bad surprises but there was such an expression of amazement on Sophia and Carl's faces _. I've never been there either. I can go with Carol and Sophia. I can see it with my family._

Rick protested, "I can't go."

Andrea shook her head, "I can't go."

Delcia was shaking her head, "No."

Then Merle went to work on the crowd. He had leased a private railway car. They could all travel together. He had rented cabins at the Grand Canyon. They would stay two days and then travel back in time for Gabriel and Delcia to be back for church on Sunday.

By the end of the evening Rick and Andrea were going to try to find a way. Gabriel wanted to go and Daryl could see that Delcia was wavering. Most everyone else was excited. Carol wanted to take her paints. Sophia and Carl were wild to start right now.

Daryl stood on the veranda and wished everyone a polite good night. He was on his best behavior because later tonight he would be with Carol in a wide soft bed. He needed to spend some time with Merle. His brother was up to something with this trip and he thought that he knew what it was. Merle Dixon son of the biggest bigot in Georgia which was going some was interested in Delcia James.

Maybe it was time the Dixon brothers had a long talk.

AN

I love the Grand Canyon and Rick promises his family that he'll take them there some day.

Felipe is from the Vatos episode in Season One. Felipe loved his grandmother.

Daryl is not perfect in this story. He loves Carol but he is fairly clueless about relationships. Carol isn't perfect either. She's stubborn.

.


	12. I Love You Truly

**I Love You Truly**

 _I love you truly, truly dear,_

 _Life with its sorrow, life with its tear_

 _Fades into dreams when I feel you are near_

 _For I love you truly, truly dear._

 _Ah! Love, 'tis something to feel your kind hand_

 _Ah! Yes, 'tis something by your side to stand;_

 _Gone is the sorrow, gone doubt and fear,_

 _For you love me truly, truly dear._

By Carrie Jacobs-Bond, 1900

Carol was upstairs with Sophia and Daryl knew she would be occupied with her for a good bit of time. Sophia tended to take longer to go to sleep after an evening with lots of "company" and with Merle's offer of a Grand Canyon vacation? She might not go to sleep until midnight. Carol would let her talk for a while and hopefully Sophia would wind down.

Daryl wasn't looking forward to talking to Merle about Delcia. It wasn't his business and Merle was likely to tell him to go to hell and/or mind his own business. Merle was his business though. He loved him and he wanted his brother to be happy. More than happy really. He wanted Merle to have what Daryl had with Carol. Someone who took his breath away when she smiled at him but was also kind and loving. Carol was his true love and what if Delcia was Merle's?

He had lost twelve years with Carol by acting like a jackass and running off. Merle had calmed down considerably these last few years but his brother was always on the edge of being a jackass. But Merle being a jackass might make him annoying but it didn't make him unlovable. Plenty of women had fallen in love with jackasses. Maybe Dellcia had a high tolerance for jackassery.

Delcia was perfect for Merle in so many ways. She loved books and so did Merle. Delia and Merle both liked to debate and argue. She was opinionated and independent. Just the kind of woman to keep Merle's interest.

The elephant in the room was that Delcia was a Negro and Merle was white. It wasn't even legal for them to marry in some states and their union would probably never be accepted in this country. Daryl knew he had to talk some sense into his impetuous brother. A marriage between Delcia and Merle would be harmful to both.

He found Merle on the patio looking at the stars. Daryl took a seat beside him. "That's quite a trip you got planned."

Merle didn't turn to look at Daryl, "You'll love it, Lil' Bruther and you'll get to see it for the first time with people that you love. Get to see their amazement at how beautiful the canyon is at sunset. You'll know that they'll never forget it."

 _He wants to see it with her. He's doing all this to get her to go_. "Merle, I see you looking at Delcia James."

Merle still kept his eyes on the heavens, "I like looking at Delcia James. She's the most beautiful thing in the entire universe."

 _Shit. Why couldn't he just tell me to go to hell?_ "Delcia is too smart to let this go any further. What do you want to happen?"

Merle shifted toward him, "I want to have a life with the woman I love. Don't you know how that feels?"

"Me and Carol aren't like you and Delcia. No one is going to look at us funny or call us names or maybe do worse than that. No one is going to call our children ugly names. No one is going to hurt them over and over because of the color of their skin _." It sounds so cruel and ugly when I said it t because it is cruel and ugly and real. That's the way the world would treat Merle and Delcia and their children. Merle wasn't a turn the other cheek kinda of guy. How would he handle it when Delcia couldn't go to a hotel or restaurant because she was black? Or something worse than that?_

Merle went back to staring at the sky, "First time I saw her on Christmas Eve. She'd come to Paradise in the fall to teach at the school, but she stayed on her side of town and generally I stayed on mine. I knew Gabriel though and I would visit him at their little church once in a while. Gabriel would be at the sanctuary trying to tune that old piano and swearing that he was going to turn it to kindling. It was a shitty piano and even I knew it wouldn't stay in tune. I was in Denver one day and I passed a store with a piano in the front window. I went in and bought a piano for the church and had it sent to the church. Gabriel came by the store the next week to thank me. I hadn't put my name on it but he figured it out. He invited me to come to the Christmas Eve service."

Merle obviously was going to tell him the whole story. Daryl sighed, "How did you meet Delcia?"

"I was restless that evening after the store closed. Christmas Eve. I was going to the ranch the next morning to spend the day with you and Jack but that night I was on my own.. I had a few presents to give out. I put my coat on and grabbed those presents. I started driving around town giving out the presents. Felt like Father Christmas."

Daryl smiled. He and Merle always bought gifts for children who might not get anything otherwise. They'd had plenty of Christmases like that growing up.

"It was clear and cold that night. Stars glittering in the sky and I was feeling all proud of myself for my good deeds. I dropped off the last gift at a house close to Gabriel's church. I decided to go in and find a seat close to the back so I could sneak out when I got bored.

The place was packed and an usher led me to a seat up front. Kinda hard to sneak out from there. I was stuck so I figured I might as well enjoy it. Lots of music and I thought the woman playing the piano was doing a hell of a job. That piano sounded so good and I was all puffed up on my generosity. I knew the pianist must be Gabriel's sister and I started watching her. The way her hands moved across the keys and how she smiled when whoever was singing did something that pleased her. I forgot all about wanting to sneak out. I would have sat there all night watching her, but Gabriel announced that Delcia would sing "Ave Maria".

Merle shook his head, "I'm sitting in a black church on Christmas Even thinking that Delcia sounded like an angel." She finished the song and then moved to sit in the empty seat beside of me.

Up close I could see that she wasn't an angel. Beautiful and elegant but flesh and blood. Gabriel talked for just a little bit about the true meaning of Christmas and then there was this prayer. We all stood and held the hand of the people on either side of us. Some little girl grabbed my left hand and Delcia looked startled but she didn't pull her hand away from mine. Good old Gabriel prayed the hell out of that prayer and it went on for minutes. Her hand was cold and I found myself trying to warm it with my big old paw. She kept her eyes closed but I kept peeking at her. Me, Merle Dixon spending Christmas Eve in a church holding the hand of a black woman.

Finally, Gabriel finished and I had to let her go. I did introduce myself and she owned up that she was Delcia James, sister to Reverend Gabriel James. She wished me a "Merry Christmas" and disappeared.

I wanted to see her again but I told myself that it would be best for both of us. That didn't last long. My New Year's Day I decided to build a house." Merle waved an arm at his home. "And I sat down with Oscar and designed a house that would be perfect for Delcia James."

Merle laughed, "Forgetting her wasn't working too well because I kept finding reasons to go visit Gabriel. I'm not ashamed to tell you that I used my money to support her school in order to get closer to her. I pushed Milton into running for mayor so that I could influence him to open a public library because Delcia thought the town needed one. I couldn't find a damn dragon to slay to win her heart but I began to do something even scarier than a fire breathing dragon." Merle shook his head again, "Meetings. I go to meetings where people talk their damn heads off just to be seen. Why? Because the things that will make this a better town start in meetings. Delcia wants those things to happen and that means that I will make sure that they do happen."

Daryl laughed, "I wondered why you were suddenly so civic minded. I should have known a woman would be involved."

"It ain't like that. Delcia isn't just any woman. She's as special to me and Carol is to you. I know how much shit I'm going to have to wade through to have a life with Delcia. I know that life for her would be easier if she married a black man, but no one could love her more than I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm going to try to make that happen. Now go upstairs and spend some time with Carol." Merle stood up and stretched.

Daryl had come here to talk sense to Merle but it was obvious that Merle had set his course for a life with Delcia. "Nothing in our life has been easy and we have waded waist deep in shit for most of it. You've been the best brother I could ever have. Time and time again you've been there for me. I'll love Delcia as my sister and your children as my own. Anything I can do to help make that happen, just tell me and I'll do it."

Merle smirked at him, "Go upstairs. I can do my own courting."

Daryl went upstairs. Carol was already in bed, a book in her hands. A single electric lamp on by the bedside. He had a list of things he needed to talk about but Carol smiled at him and he knew that talking would come later.

He shut the door behind him and took the time to lock it. He kicked off his city boots and started unbuttoning his shirt. Carol put her book on the table beside her bed. He remembered to put the shirt on the chair instead of the floor. He did leave the jeans on the floor and he was naked by the time he got to the bed.

"Don't turn the light off." Daryl pulled the bed clothes back. "You're overdressed."

Carol bit her lip, "Can't say that about you." Her eyes roamed him concentrating a bit on his rapidly hardening dick. Her pale skin was slightly flushed and he wanted to see all of her. Drink her in the way she was him, "Fair is fair, your turn."

Carol slid out of bed. He knew she was self-conscious about the scars that having a baby and life with Ed had left her. He had scars of his own. He was both scarred and a jackass. Didn't make you unlovable.

She slowly drew her nightgown over her head. She might be doing it slowly because she was reluctant to shed that outer garment but damn it was even more erotic that way.

Carol Everdene stood before him naked as the day she was born. Small firm breasts and white creamy skin except for her center. Long slender legs that he liked wrapped around him as they came together. "You're beautiful."

He kissed her and she opened her mouth to him. His dick pressed against her and his hand moved from her side to her center. It was warm and wet but not quite there yet. He wanted to do something that he had never done before. Something more intimate that would please her.

She liked the touch of his hand there and he could bring her to climax that way. "Let's lie down."

She pulled away from him and got in bed automatically bringing the bedclothes up to cover herself. He got in beside her and ushed everything away until he could see all of her. He began to make love to her. His dick wanted what it wanted and it wanted it now.

Carol was ready but he dallied a little longer sucking at her nipples. It was time. He began to meander his kisses down her body until he was at her center. He looked up at her, "Do you trust me?"

She nodded, "You wouldn't ever hurt me." Carol looked puzzled though and Daryl decided it didn't matter that he might not to this thing perfectly. She wouldn't know what good was.

He positioned himself at her center and moved her legs over his shoulders. He was doing this because supposedly it was wonderful for the woman but it was also kinda exciting. He pushed his mouth toward her and let his tongue roam. Carol was tense but when he found that small important part of her with his tongue that his fingers knew was the mother lode of her pleasure Carol arched toward him. He concentrated his tongue on that and it wasn't long before she climaxed.

Daryl wanted to finish in her but he wasn't sure how this worked now. He moved to lie beside her. Carol had a bemused looked on her face. Somewhere between pleased and confused. He kissed her and wondered if she could taste herself.

She inched closer to him and touched his dick which was starting to weep a bit. "I want you inside me."

That was enough for Daryl. He was more than ready himself. He thought he would come quickly once he was sheathed inside her but he found himself holding back to bring Carol with him again. He didn't last forever but he didn't need to. She wanted this too and he pounded into her with a little less care than usual. She climaxed and seconded later he finished inside her.

They both stared at the ceiling while they caught their breath. He peeked over at her, "You okay?"

Carol continued to find the ceiling fascinating which reminded him of the way Merle had looked at the stars tonight. Finally, "It was amazing. Does that make me unnatural?" She seemed a little upset.

Daryl kissed her shoulder, "You ain't unnatural. I wanted to do that. You enjoyed it."

She edged closer to him. "I love you, Daryl Dixon."

He reminded her, "Oscar wants us to come out to the ranch house tomorrow. He'll have the windows in and he'll give us an update on what we need to buy. Felipe will run the ranch while we finish the house."

They talked about the house for a while and his hiring a foreman. He asked about her paintings and how Sophia was doing on the piano. Eventually they got around to talking about Merle.

Carol seemed to know that Merle was in love with Delcia which didn't surprise Daryl. Not much got by Carol and Merle wasn't exactly subtle.

Carol was decisive, "He's in love with Delcia and has been for some time. She's got feelings for him too but Delcia won't let herself give into her emotions. She sees all the misery that could come from them being together and is not letting herself dwell on the happiness that she is denying them."

Daryl grinned and bit her ear gently, "I can think of a few things that she is denying."

Carol wasn't going to be distracted, "I like Delcia, but she is stubborn. I think this trip will decide how this works out. They'll spend time together but they will also be out there in the public eye. Not everyone will mind their own business."

"How excited is Sophia about the trip?  
"She is wound up like a clock. I'm looking forward to it too. Have you ever been there?"

"I was always too busy with the ranch, but I'm glad that I'm going now with you and Sophia. Merle says that the sunset is the best part. You can paint and maybe Sophia and I can hike around the rim during the day. Better make sure she has some britches with her and some sturdy shoes. Merle has rented several cabins for us. We're going to have a great time." Daryl was surprised at how excited he was about the trip. Maybe loosening his hands from the reins of Caryl ranch was changing him already.

Carol teased him, "You are sounding so fatherly. Reminding me to pack britches for Sophia."

"I want to adopt her once we're married. Is that going to be okay with you and Sophia?"

Her face grew serious, "If that was you want or is that what you think I want?"

Good question. Sophia had spent most of her life with Ed. Probably loved him even because Daryl knew too well that you wanted to love your father. It was natural to love them even when you feared and hated them. Daryl was asking if he could be Sophia's father and it wasn't like kids came with an owner's manual. "It's what I want. She's a great kid and I love her. Now I don't know how to be a daddy but I'll make you do all the hard stuff."

"It's okay then. You obviously know how to be a father." Carol patted his chest. "I'll wait until we're married to talk to Sophia about adoption."

"You are going to marry me? Don't be thinking that you don't have to buy the cow if you get the milk free. Sophia is old enough to know that I sleep with you." Daryl was teasing but it did seem like Carol took the getting married part a little too casual at times. _Didn't most women bore the hell out of everyone with weddings?_

Carol pinched his nipple not at all gently, "It would be more like not buying the bull if you are getting serviced for free. You being the bull and me being the fertile cow. We're getting married in two months. I have it all planned but if you want all the details."

Time to change the subject. He didn't want to know details right now. "Is it unnatural that you calling me the bull makes me want to service you. You fertile cow you." Daryl was a little embarrassed to admit it but his dick had perked right up up at the nipple pulling and being called a bull.

Carol huffed, "You just called be a cow."

Daryl kissed her "I'm a bull and I can't help myself. You make me mad with desire and I must have you. You are the only cow I want in the pasture. This bull only wants you."

She kissed him back and their tongues teased each other. She pulled back, "I wouldn't mind if you did that thing again."

"I wouldn't mind either."

AN

 **Next chapter will concentrate on the trip. I haven't forgotten about Phillip Blake but he hasn't gone away. Unfortunately**.

 **The song that gave me the title is perhaps too sweet and sentimental for modern times, but this story is set in 1900 and it seemed right for that time. Daryl and Merle have both found true love but that is where the story really starts.**

 **Daryl has lessons to learn. He loves Carol but he has spent a lifetime alone. The ranch consumes all his time and he has little left over for his family. He's insecure about his ability to be a good husband and father, but he's trying.**

 **Merle does love Delcia and he is willing to face the challenges that their being together will bring.**

 **This story is different but there is such freedom in an alternate universe story. You get to change reality and I like being able to change date and location.**


	13. One Drop at a Time

One Drop at a Time

Carol sat down in one of the plush train seats in Merle's private railway car. Sophia and Carl had plopped down together. Her timid little girl was growing up. Not needing to be close to her to feel safe.

There were twenty seats spaciously placed throughout the car. A table with six chairs. An small bar area with an icebox. Delcia staring out the window while Daryl, Merle, and Gabriel stow the luggage away.

Amy and Milton hurry in and Andrea and Rick trail behind them. The last two had decided not to go with them because Andrea felt obligated to stay and look after her patients. Then Gabriel mentioned that Dr. Jacqui Prescott was in Paradise visiting relatives and Andrea managed to convince her to take over her practice for a week. Andrea was free to go and if her patients weren't comfortable going to a black doctor then they could always go to Dr. Hershel. Andrea had taken Jacqui with her when she checked her maternity patients and everything had gone well enough that Andrea decided to go.

Rick wasn't going because he didn't want to leave Paradise in the hands of his deputies. They were he thought just a little too green. Then Shane Walsh drifted back into town. Rick and Shane had been deputies together back in the day. Rick hired Shane on the spot.

Maggie and Glenn were last and they managed to look both guilty and pleased with themselves. Carol wondered how the somewhat stodgy Dr. Hershel Green was dealing with his daughter dating a Korean-American. Probably didn't have much of a say in the matter. Maggie was a college graduate with a teaching job in the fall. Carol hoped that Hershel didn't try to stop the train that was Maggie and Glenn. Maggie was in love and Carol understood why. Glenn was a keeper. Smart and sweet. Honorable. Adorable too.

Daryl came in and sat down beside her. "The train is leaving in a couple of minutes."

Merle came in, "All aboard?" He sat down and was swarmed by Sophia and Carl who wanted to look at the railroad map again. Merle moved to the table and spread the map out so that they could trace the route of their journey. Carol noticed that Delcia kept glancing up from her book to watch Merle with the children. _She's a teacher, probably likes kids. Delcia is thirty-one. Time to start having children if she is going to. Is she wondering what kind of father Merle would be?_

The green and fertile landscape became browner and drier as the train moved south toward Santé Fe. She and Daryl walked back through the caboose to stand at the landing at the back of the train to get a better view. "It doesn't look anything like Paradise." Very few trees and the land was dotted with low dark green bushes. Miles and miles of it.

Daryl nodded, "Not enough water for trees except on the arroyos. There are thunderstorms in the summer but it runs right off."

The train stopped at Lamy and everyone got out to stretch their legs. Carol had been disappointed that the railroad had bypassed Santé Fe but she was determined to visit Sante Fe this summer. Then they trooped back to their car to eat the picnic lunch that Alma had packed for them. Ham sandwiches and baked beans. Lemonade to drink. She and Carol had made a variety of cookies for dessert yesterday. Alma had relented enough to let Carol hang around in the kitchen and be as Alma put it "useful".

Alma had pulled a pan of cookies out of the oven and surveyed them with a critical eye. "You didn't do half bad on this batch."

Half bad was high praise and Carol smiled, "You and Aunt Alma were good teachers."

Alma leaned against the table. She must have something to say. Alma held onto her words like they were golden most of the time so you knew to listen close the first time. Alma wasn't likely to repeat it.

"He's in love with her." Alma sounded irritated but then again, she usually sounded like that.

Carol wasn't sure who "he" or "her" was but she thought it was most likely Merle and Delcia. Saying nothing seemed like the safest thing to do.

"Mr. Merle is in love with that black woman. Delcia James. The woman who is teaching little Sophia how to play the piano." Alma sat down on chair and Carol got two glasses of lemonade and sat down beside her. Alma sounded down right pissed off now.

Alma took the lemonade and one of Carol's less attractive cookies that had been cooling. "He worships the ground she walks on and she likes him too. I can see it plain as day. She's breaking his heart because she won't have anything to do with him because he's white."

Carol took a bite out of one of the ugly cookies and contemplated an answer. "Delcia probably thinks it would be kinder in the long run. He'll get over her and move on."

Alma snorted, "She's a fool. Maybe she's afraid because he can look all mean and tough at times that he would be a cruel husband. My husband was all sweetness and light when we were courting and then once we were married it all turned to shit. He made my life a living hell for twenty years and it was Merle Dixon who brought me here and gave me this job." She looked at Carol, "Daryl was in that deal too. He's a good man."

Carol sipped the lemonade, "He is a good man. I know because my first husband was a lot like yours."

"Real misery in a marriage comes from the two of you not the outside world. You can stand anything if you can walk in your door and feel happy because the other one is there. It's about how you feel when you're with them. Loved and appreciated. What color they are don't mean much in the scheme of things." Alma got up to check the oven, "You think this trip is going to have any sway in the way Delcia thinks."

Carol chewed on a cookie, "I hope so. I have that with Daryl. That's how I feel when he walks through the door even if he has been in and out all day long. Just glad that he's there. I want that for Merle and Delcia. Maybe she'll spend enough time with Merle to start thinking that the good might outweigh the bad."

Alma confessed, "I looked at your painting. The one of Delcia and Sophia. It's really good and I'm going to mind your business for a minute. You got something, some gift that allows you to take paint and tell a story with it. The way the two of them are so caught up in the music is there. You got a gift and you need to use it. Don't get so caught up with being the perfect wife and mother that you don't have time for anything else. You got other stories to tell with your paint." She patted Carol's hand, "Just hire people to do the housework and most of the cooking. Now get your lazy butt up and help me stir up a batch of butterscotch cookies."

Carol looked around the train car. Most everyone was napping after lunch. Merle had been working on a crossword puzzle and driving Delcia crazy by continually asking her how to spell the words in the puzzle. Finally, Delcia slammed her book shut and took the seat beside Merle, "We finish this one puzzle and then you're on your own."

"I can't spell very damn good."

"Buy a dictionary."

It hadn't taken long to finish that puzzle and Merle talked her into doing just one more. Carol drifted off to sleep listening to the two of them working their way through the puzzle together.

The train rolled through the afternoon and evening. It was almost dark when they arrived at Williams, Arizona. They got off the train and their car was unhooked and moved to a side rail. Merle had found them accommodations at a local hotel. They ate dinner in the dining room and then everyone went to their rooms. Tomorrow morning, they were catching a train to the Grand Canyon.

The next train wasn't as comfortable but in less than two hours the train arrived at the Grand Canyon. A man with a wagon met them and they were transported to their cabins. Small and functional. Two bedrooms with bunk beds. Carol and Sophia hurried into one bedroom to change into slacks. Daryl put his suitcase into the other. Then they waited on the porch until everyone was ready to trek toward the canyon. Carol smiled when she saw that all the women had changed to slacks. _That's who we are. Wild and crazy trend setters. Daring to wear clothes that are comfortable even when the rest of the world thinks women should be cinched up too tightly to breathe or walk._

The trail to the canyon ran through a pine forest and Merle led the way. Carol was hoping that the Grand Canyon wasn't going to be underwhelming. Soon she could see more light through the trees and the trees began to thin out. Merle waved them through, "Go explore but lunch is in an hour. Meet me at the El Tovar." He took off on his own and the others were left to explore.

Daryl led the way but Carol had to smile. She was claustrophobic and Daryl was acrophobic. She wondered how close he would get to the edge. No closer than ten feet probably. She noticed that the others moved into smaller groups.

Soon it was just the three of them, Daryl, Sophia, and Carol at the Grand Canyon. She took over the lead and Daryl slipped into third place. She and Sophia raced on ahead and found a rock on the edge to sit on. Daryl inched his way forward to stand beside her his hand clinging to the rock.

The Grand Canyon was too much to take in quickly. She couldn't see the bottom even when she leaned over the edge and Daryl began to make little squealy sounds. The canyon was unbelievable. Unbelievably immense and unbelievable beautiful.

The three of them just sat for a while and took it all in. Then they strolled toward El Tovar along a graveled path that ran along the edge of the canyon. Daryl walked boldly along the rim so he must have conquered his fear of heights. The initial shock of how far down was had shook him up but he had gotten past it and was enjoying the view.

Lunch was in a private dining room. One large enough to accommodate their group but small enough that it felt more like a family gathering. Merle had arranged for all their meals to be there so that they could avoid the crush of the restaurant.

After lunch, they scattered back into separate groups after agreeing to meet back at dinnertime. Merle and Daryl wanted to hike toward the east rim. Carol walked back to the cabins with Delcia and Sophia. They needed to get settled in and Sophia had bought a guidebook at the gift shop at the hotel.

Sophia took a nap while she and Delcia sat comfortably in rocking chairs on the cabin porch and talked. Carol had considered Delcia a friend before but she had never shared much from her past. Maybe it was being in a different setting, one that was new to both that allowed them to talk more freely.

Carol talked about her marriage and the year she spent putting her life back together after Ed's death. She admitted that she still had nightmares about Ed. "I wake up and for a few seconds I am as terrified as I was when he was alive."

Delcia had started teaching when she was eighteen. "I worked during the school year and then went to college in the summer. I finished my undergraduate degree at Hampton and then started working on my master's degree at Howard University in Washington D. C. I lived with my cousin and his family during the summer and continued teaching back in Hampton."

Delcia hesitated and Carol could see that there was more to the story. Finally, Delcia began again, "I met Julian Foster. He was just finishing his law degree at Hampton. He was handsome, always perfectly dressed, well-mannered, intelligent and single. I went back to Hampton in the fall and we began to correspond."

Delcia's eyes were focused on the pines that surrounded the cabin but Carol suspected that Delcia was somewhere in her past, "We began courting the next summer. Julian took me to concerts and art museums. I was you see, the country mouse and he was the city mouse. In the fall I went back to Hampton."

"We got engaged the next summer. Julian warned me that he had school debts to pay and that he was the sole support of his mother. A formidable woman who thought that I was too country and too dark for her son. I wasn't in a hurry. I wanted to finish my masters and maybe start working on a doctorate."

"We were engaged for two years before I figured out that Julian didn't love me. He liked having a fiancé and he liked me well enough but he didn't want me the way a man should want a woman."

Delcia stopped for a moment and Carol filled in the rest. There were men who preferred other men. Julian was one of them and Delcia was his way to hide it.

"He would have married me eventually, but I broke off the engagement. I didn't go back to Hampton that fall. Gabriel's letters were full of descriptions of Paradise and the people here. I needed a change and Paradise sounded perfect. I came here two years ago and it was the right move for me. I'm happier here." Delcia stood up and stretched.

Sophia came out of the cabin with her guidebook, "Let's go back to the canyon."

They met Andrea on the way. Rick and Carl were exploring a trail that led down into the canyon and she hadn't wanted to do anything that strenuous. "They'll wind up with blisters and sun stroke. Good thing I'm a doctor."

Andrea joined them in a non-strenuous, no blisters and no sunstroke hike along the canyon. They bought an iced tea to drink on a bench overlooking the rim.

Everyone was back by dinnertime. Rick and Carl were sunburnt and limping. It looked as if most of the group had spent the afternoon exploring and were the worst for wear because of it. They ate heartedly but were much quieter than at lunch. Merle reminded them, "You don't want to miss sunset."

Daryl was full of plans for the next day. "I bought us some backpacks. I can carry enough water for us. Tomorrow we can walk over to the east rim. Maybe have a snack there and then hike back before it gets too warm."

Carol agreed, "We'll get up early and see the sunrise there. Maybe skip breakfast here so we better buy snacks now." She knew of course that between Daryl and Sophia they would have enough food for a week-long expedition. The two of them came back with two full bags. At least they wouldn't starve to death before lunch.

They found a quiet place to sit and watch the sunset. The canyon was spectacular during the day because of its sheer immenseness. It was so much of everything. So far down, so far across, and so far long. At sunset the clear flat light changed to some magical. The canyon walls began to glow with red and gold hues. Then the colors became softer. More blue and purple as the light faded.

Carol leaned against Daryl and he took her hand in his. Sophia was leaning on his other side. She was very glad that they had come to this special place. It had taken millions of years for the river to carve out this enormous canyon. One drop at a time and it was still carving. It made you realize that your life was very short. It was slipping away one drop at a time and you needed to savor golden moments like these.

They walked back to their cabin in the gathering dusk. Sophia between them. They were going to bed early because they were taking an early morning hike to see the sun rise.

AN

Everyone should go to see the Grand Canyon especially at sunrise and sunset. There is actually still a train that can take you to the canyon from Williams, Arizona.


	14. Letting Go

Letting Go

Delcia James was restless. Gabriel had returned to their cabin after dinner and she had decided to take a walk around the canyon rim by herself. Talking about Julian with Carol had brought up old hurts, feelings that she had thought were long buried. She hadn't been in love with Julian. She had been focused on school, both as a teacher and as a student. Julian had shown her a different world, one full of concerts and museums. Julian with his handsome face and beautiful clothes had dazzled her. Julian was the prince charming from every fairy tale that she had ever read. It looked the way love was supposed to look. So, the affection she felt for Julian masqueraded for love. She knew the difference now. Falling in love with Merle had shown her that much.

The two men were certainly opposites. Julian was suave and debonair. Merle was rough around the edges. Julian was always well groomed and dressed in stylish. Most of the time Merle looked like he had spent the day digging for gold. Julian was well mannered, Merle said and did whatever he wanted. Being polite usually didn't factor into what ever came out of his mouth.

Julian's polite kisses had left her cold and she wanted Merle. Wanted him in ways that were new to her. She wanted him in her bed. She'd had certain fantasies about secret rendezvouses. The two of them meeting in his house for an afternoon or maybe in some city where no one knew them. Letting herself do what she wanted to do instead of what everyone expected her to do.

She'd indulged those fantasies one day last week in Merle's house. She and Carol had been sewing slacks for the trip in the spare bedroom upstairs. Carol was using the sewing machine and Sophia had come and asked her mother to come outside to see her ride her horse.

Carol had smiled at her daughter, "Just a minute. Would you like to come, Delcia?"

She'd shaken her head, "I'm going to finish this hem."

Carol had disappeared with Sophia and she'd finished hemming the slacks and decided to join Carol and Sophia. The spare room opened into the hall opposite Merle's bedroom. That door was slightly ajar and Delcia found herself pushing the door open. His room was twice the size of the spare room. There was a small sitting area with two comfortable chairs and a full bookshelf. Merle's bathroom door was open and she could smell the faint aroma of bay rum soap. No carpets or rugs were on the shiny hardwood floors. The large bed dominated the room. It drew her eye and she wondered what it would feel like to be lying there waiting for Merle to join her. She resisted the temptation to do a Goldilocks and try the bed out. Instead she'd going outside to watch Sophia.

Merle wanted her. All those fantasies could come true if she gave him the right signal which she had steadfastly refused to do. Reality would always creep in and with her luck she'd probably get pregnant. She'd lose her job and her reputation. Just another Black woman with a light skinned baby.

There were other fantasies too. Throwing caution to the damn winds and marrying Merle. Living as his wife and the mother of his children. Keeping her job and being a leader in the community. Having it all.

She could go back to Hampton and get a teaching job. Maybe that was the right choice. Did she want to stay here and be an onlooker as Merle married someone else? Watch him drive around town with his wife and eventual blond children?

Delcia realized with a start that she had walked further than she had planned. She needed to turn around and get back in familiar territory. There were too many bushes and trees around to see more than twenty feet ahead. Not smart. She'd been warned time and time again growing up not to wander far from the protection of her family. Her sister had been blunt, "You're pretty. White men like pretty black girls and some will take what they want." Little Delcia had listened. She wore her long curly hair in a braided bun and dressed like an old maid schoolteacher. Living in Paradise had made her less cautious and here she was wandering around the wilderness by herself.

Delcia turned around and saw the outline of a large man coming her way. There was a moment of panic and then she saw that it was Merle.

He must have seen the fear on her face and he held his hands up. "Didn't mean to scare you. You okay?"

She nodded, "I should go back."

"Come and sit down. You don't want to miss the sunset. I'll walk back with you after that. Got some stuff to talk about."

She followed Merle around a bend in the path and he motioned her to sit on a flat rock that jutted out onto the canyon. He sat beside her and let his legs dangle down. Surprisingly he was quiet until the sun's light began to fade. It was time to go, but Merle was ready to talk.

Merle stared out into the abyss and there was a bleakness to his face that worried her. "Philip Blake has to be dealt with. He poisons everything he touches. He keeps his whores drugged up and Shumpert and Martinez are selling opium. The streets around their establishment aren't safe anymore. Rick is going to hire more deputies. Daryl has been talking to the ranchers the last few days. Gabriel and Oscar talk with the men in your community. Juan and Pedro Martinez are organizing the Mexicans."

Delcia wanted to move closer and take his hand but chose to speak instead, "He won't go peacefully and Philip will go after anyone that he sees as a threat." _That would be you and your brother, Merle._

Merle moved closer and took her hand, "He'll go after those we love. I've kept away from you because I didn't want him to know how much I love you. You're Gabriel's sister and that is enough to get his attention. Daryl is sending Carol and Sophia to Sante Fe until this is over. I want you to go with them. That little squirrel Carl will be there too."

"You and Daryl decided this?" _Merle Dixon was not her boss_.

"Sante Fe has lots of artists and musicians. I own a house there. Consider it a vacation." Merle shifted his position and tone, "Philip knows that he doesn't have a real foothold in your community. The men don't go to his whorehouse and they don't do a lot of drinking in the bars. I know how his mind works. Have one of his whores say that a black man raped her and try to get a lynch mob. I can't control how that will play out and I'm not waiting around until it does. I'm going to lure him out first."

Merle's hand was warm in hers. Not soft and perfectly manicured like Julian's had been. Merle's hands were calloused but clean _. I love him and he's going to make himself a target. This is a suicide mission. He's going to get himself killed. Damn_.

"You are not going to lure him out. You are not going to go in like some dime novel hero and get yourself killed." _He's so impulsive._

Merle grinned at her, "Sounding damn bossy for a woman who doesn't have a say in the matter."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't distract that easily, Merle. You are far more useful to me alive than dead. You are too good a chess player to not have some plan and does it involve Shane Walsh and Dr. Jacqui Prescott?" _Those two showing up was just too convenient._

Merle's attempt at an innocent face almost made her smile. He gave it up for one of his wolfish grins, "Too damn smart for your own good. Shane Walsh is a US marshal and he is working undercover. He and Rick are old friends. Rick is trying to play this by the book Jacqui needed a new start a few years ago. Bad marriage. I helped her go to medical school and in return she is going to settle in Paradise."

"What about Andrea and Amy? Won't they be in danger too?"

Merle threw a large rock down the canyon and they listened to it ricochet off the stone walls. "The house that they were renting conveniently burned yesterday. Hershel Green is going to offer to let them stay at his place. His ranch is a fortress. Jacqui is going there too. We're going to need all the doctors in a safe place." _He's been planning this for some time. Had someone to burn the house down while everyone is gone. He owned that house and rented it to Andrea. Probably had all their personal things taken out before it was burned_.

He kissed her hand, "I can think of other ways that I can be useful. It gets awfully cold in Paradise in the winter and I can keep you warm all night long." He kissed her hand against and nipped gently at her fingers.

Delcia knew it was time to stop this because she really didn't want him to stop. She pushed him away. "It's getting late. Time to go."

"I remember holding your hand on Christmas eve at the church. Your hands were so cold and I wanted to put both hands around yours and warm them up. I'll always want to do that." Merle held onto her hand as they started down the path.

"Merle, be sensible. This infatuation will pass. This is the real world, not some romantic novel. If we were together, your children would be black. Do you have any idea what that means?" Delcia was shocked to hear how angry her voice sounded.

Merle stopped in the path and turned loose of her hand. He looked angrier than she had ever seen him. "Damn your cowardice, Delcia. My children would be your children. There is something you should consider, something that should scare the hell out of you. If we were together, your children would be Dixons. Do you have any idea what that means?"

They stared at each other in the gathering gloom until they both laughed. Merle kissed her then and she let him because his kiss was warm and greedy. Just exactly how she thought it would be because this was Merle and he wanted her. She kissed him back because she wanted him to keep kissing her.

He did pull back after that, "You have to marry me soon. We're not getting any younger and if we're going to have any black Dixons we should get a move on. I've got to get Phillip Blake and his gang out of Paradise first."

Delcia laughed, "You didn't even ask me?"

Merle gave her his best wolfish grin, "You kissed me like it's a done deal. I don't expect you to be an obedient wife but you got to listen to me this time. If Philip Blake finds out that we're engaged? He might do something to you to get back at me. We play this cool until he leaves town and then we get married."

He kissed her again. "We tell Gabriel and Daryl. He'll tell Carol. Just them."

Delcia nodded, "That makes sense."

Merle kissed her again. His tongue was against her lips and he had slipped one hand under her blouse. He murmured, "Come to my cabin tonight."

She wanted to let this go on and on, but she pushed him back after a few too short moments. The taste of his tongue against hers and his rough fingers caressing her breast were even better than her fantasies. Marrying Merle would be challenging but he would be as he had said, useful.

"No, I'm not going to your cabin tonight."

Merle looked unsettled, "We're still getting married, right?"

Delcia took his hand, "Those cabins are way too close to one another."

Merle grinned at her, "You're right. I'm going to be noisy as hell when we make sweet love together."

They made it back to the others before it got too dark. Daryl and Carol were delighted but no surprised. Gabriel was stunned and she knew that she was in for a good lecture from here later tonight. She could not expect anything different.

She and Merle had argued their way through some changes to the plan by the time they got to the cabins. Delcia figured that would not be their last argument. They both enjoyed a lively discussion.

They spent one more day at the canyon and then they caught the train back. Merle had decided that they all would enjoy a couple of days at Sante Fe. The trip back was more relaxed, the group was closer now.

They were met at the Lamy stationed and ferried via automobiles to Sante Fe. Most of the group were dropped off at La Fonda Hotel and the others continued on to Merle's house. He'd telegraphed ahead to the caretaker to have it ready.

The house was built in southwestern fashion. Built of adobe with a high wall separating the house from the street it was somewhat larger than Delcia had expected. It was within easy walking distance to the central plaza and the La Fonda. They had dinner that night at the hotel at a private dining room. The next day was spent sightseeing around a town that had been in existence since 1610.

That evening everyone congregated to Merle's house and were ushered inside to sit in on the patio and enjoy cool refreshments. At sunset Daryl and Merle stood up and took positions side by side in front of a floral altar. Carol came out of the house and walked toward the altar but moved aside slightly. Then Gabriel escorted his sister toward the front and Delcia handed her bouquet to Carol.

Merle and Delcia were married by her brother, the Rev. Gabriel James. The service was solemn. Merle wiped his eyes more than once but he was resolute in his promises to Delcia. Daryl and Carol smiled at each other and wiped their own eyes. Delcia's voice was husky with emotion when she said her vows. Andrea smiled when she recognized that Delcia had not promised to "obey" Merle.

After the ceremony, all those in attendance went inside and enjoyed a wedding dinner. Two days later most of the party went back to Paradise.

They told everyone they knew that they loved the Grand Canyon. Carol and Delcia had loved it so much that they decided to stay there for a longer vacation and of course Sophia and Carl stayed with them. Carol wanted to do a series of paintings of the canyon from different vantage points.

Andrea and Amy accepted Hershel's invitation to live at his farm. Maggie and Glenn announced to her father that they intended to marry as soon as things settled down.

Merle sent Alma to live at Daryl's ranch. It was time to clean house.

AN

I realized when I was editing the story that I had written that Delcia had used the term "fairy tale" in regards to her relationship with Julian. I kept it in because she used it innocently and not as some sort of insult.

Carol being out of the action? It was 1900 and no one would have expected her to go after Philip. You'll just have to wait around until the muse kicks into gear to find out what happened.


End file.
